Saturday, July 18, 2009

Give a space hoot

Jump back and cut Footloose! It's time for "Fuck You, Alien!" inspired by the little known tome found with the Dead Sea Scrolls.


I just have to ask, why would you stuff and mount a goddamn Cornish hen made out of dryer lint on your wall? That’s my best zoological guess as to what that abomination is hanging there. It sort of resembles Woodsy Owl too, but I’m not getting any closer to test out that theory (you don't know what I know about Woodsy Owl).

Leave it to a bastard like Star Trek’s Trelane, the space alien child who still lives in his parents’ hyper-dimensional basement, to have a trophy travesty like this proudly displayed. I mean look at it, its eyes follow you when you move across the room (TRY IT!). And I don’t even want to speculate why it has antenna. I thought only bugs and crustaceans had antenna. Maybe it’s a space lobster, but I don’t think any amount of butter would get the taste of the lint out of your mouth.

I’m glad you’re securely stuffed and mounted, you Cornish space lobster hen owl freak. You’re too dangerous, and just plain fucking weird, to roam around our galaxy unchecked.

Disclaimer: Star Trek is Copyright 2009 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is implied. Screencaps from

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