Okay, so I just watched "xXx: State of the Union" starring that Royal Shakespeare Company master of exactly one facial expression Sir Ice Cube. I was kidding about the RSC bit. And the bit about the knighthood. And "watched" maybe be stretching it, as I sorta scanned through the dull parts. But Cube DOES have only one expression, and it's a frown. Nice.
I haven't seen the first "xXx" film starring Vin Petroleum, sorry, Diesel, but I hear it's pretty stupid. Good thing, because the sequel is so dumb it should repeat its grade again. And take summer school.
I do recall seeing the promos for Triple X #1 where filmmakers said they were gunning for the James Bond franchise - the pinnacle of action films - which they saw as tired, old and weak. They set about doing this by using generic action film plots, hiring "star actors of the moment," and by staging the dumbest, loudest, and most non-thrilling action scenes. There was nothing in xXx-2 I hadn't seen before, and done better, in other action movies. If you put a drawer full of silverware and a big toaster in a 55 gallon drum, sealed it up and shook it about, you'd be just as loud as this film's action beats, but, more importantly, MORE exciting. The only action bit I thought had any merit was when Cube used a aircraft carrier's plane catapult to launch his mini-tank into a much larger tank that was pursuing him. That was something I hadn't seen before.
Another thing that gets me about a franchise that make no bones about going for a younger action audience, especially when it's built around the premise of using characters who are into extreme sports is that neither Vin Diesel nor Ice Cube are in that age range. They were both 35 years old when they made their respective xXx movies. 35 would be about retirement age for a real x-treme sports dude. Why aren't they casting someone about 25 years old, which seems to be the peak for x-treme sports?
The xXx movies play out like a bad SNL sketch. What's next, Will Ferrel as a bad guy named Mugatu?
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