Monday, December 29, 2008

Man, that Armageddon is Tas-TEE!

Star Trek Remastered. “A Taste of Armageddon.”

Not a lot on the new CGI front in this one, as most of the action takes place planet-side. There’s a nice new digital matte interpretation of the surface of Eminiar VII, complete with a little moving tram and tiny Eminians dutifully moving around in the background.

I’ve always liked this episode and its (still) very topical theme of using computers to wage war. In this viewing it really hit home that the leaders of Eminiar VII are proud – too proud – of the fact that they are waging a “non-destructive” war (at least as far as buildings and property are concerned) but it hasn’t occurred to them to seek to NOT wage war. Your hand can make a fist and you can use that fist to knock people down, or you can open your hand, grasp another’s hand, and help them to their feet. The choice is yours. (End of sappy sermon.)

The planet of Eminiar VII has been at war with fellow planet Vindakar for 500 years. How do we know this? They have characters state this fact at least FIVE TIMES. Twice, maybe three times would have been sufficient. But five times and you’re just bragging.

When Kirk and his landing party materialize on the planet, they immediately turn around and look at the wall behind them. All of them do this! What, they’ve never seen a wall before?

After receiving the message from Eminiar to stay the heck away, Ambassador Fox demands they proceed. This negotiator doesn’t really try to reason, or bargain with Kirk, he simply pulls rank and demands Kirk do what he wants. Great ambassadorial skills there!

Kirk includes two “red shirt” security guards in his landing party. They actually both make it through to the end of the episode ALIVE! This may be the only episode where that happens.

The chick who plays Yeoman Tamula is a terrible actress. Probably another producer’s girlfriend.

Ambassador Fox has an assistant we only see when he beams down and is taken hostage. This Tony Perkins look-a-like never says anything. And he has the worst death I've seen in quite some time. After being rescued by Spock, Fox and Tony are walking behind the Vulcan when they encounter some Eminian guards and they all exchange "sonic disruptor fire" and Tony sort of squats in a corner and dies. He squats and he dies. Is there a sillier death than that?

Anan 7 states they have war dead of one to three million a year, all of whom have to step into disintegration machines. But when we see a disintegration machine in operation – with a crowd of “casualties” waiting in line – it only zaps ONE PERSON at a time. Even my microwave can nuke two, hell, even three burritos at one time.

Disclaimer: Star Trek is Copyright 2008 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is implied.

Thanks to for the Star Trek screencaps.


  1. It would appear that the "sensitive thug" cannot wait to initiate a full body search on Kirk. No disintegration for him, no sir!

    Where is the picture of Tony squatting? Seems like you could have a little fun with that one - perhaps with the sensitive guard lovingly looking on...

  2. Alas, this review will have to stand without a pic of Assistant to the Ambassador Tony Perkins' "squat death."

    In looking at the screencaps again, it clearly shows Spock and the two Eminian-garbed Enterprise guards out front and Tony P peeking out from Spock's right side. So naturally the Eminian forces on the other side of the hallway miss Spock and the guards ENTIRELY and only hit our frail, up and coming assistant. Maybe Ambassador Fox PUSHED him into the enemy fire. Fox NEVER liked the guy anyway...all those stuffed birds and animals he kept around the ambassador's office.