Thursday, November 19, 2009

Rebooty-booty-booty

The nice folks at Cinematical.com have an article about scifi series that need movie reboots.

Let's roll up our spacesuit's sleeves and weigh in, shall we?

1. Space: 1999
Great special effects in the original, no argument there. But the stories and acting were so veddy British, as in dry, it should have had a hand creme (that's lotion, to we Americans) tie in. The premise is just so stupid: the moon not only is torn from Earth's orbit, but somehow is speeding through space passing by other planets and encountering all sorts of aliens. Does it travel with its own wormhole? And where do the Moonbase inhabitants get all their food, fuel and supplies? PASS.

2. Time Tunnel
Are they serious? Wasn't this already remade as Quantum Leap? And hasn't the Terminator franchise screwed up time travel movies for a good long while? PASS

3. The Six Million Dollar Man
Hells yeah! Bring back Big Steve Austin (sorry, Stone Cold) and tell Oscar Goldman and Rudy Wells to spring for the bionic extras package and up the budget to six billion. This would give the superhero genre a kick in the pants: Look ma, no spandex! Sort of like Jack Ryan with superpowers. Maybe the Wachowski Brothers want to give this one a wack? As long as Bigfoot shows up in the sequel. AGREE

4. Earth 2
I kinda liked this short-lived TV series, about a rag-tag group trying to survive and settle on a "new Earth" in the future. Make it an HBO mini-series, but I don't see it working as a big budget film. PASS

5. UFO
Bring on the Grays! This would be an AWESOME big screen trilogy, chronicling the discovery of alien life and their nefarious plans for the earth, the building of our only hope of defense, S.H.A.D.O. (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization), and all of its amazing hardware and vehicles: the moonbase, Interceptors, Skydiver and Sky One, S.I.D. (Space Intruder Detector), the mobiles. This trilogy would be recast with new and upcoming actors, a la the recent Star Trek, to play Cmdr. Straker, Paul Foster, Gay Ellis, Alec Freeman, Virginia Lake and the purple-haired moonbase hotties! AGREE

6. Voyagers!
Yeah, right. Maybe (maybe) if they made it in the tone of the first Harry Potter movie. PASS

7. Buck Rogers
Biddy-biddy-biddy, it's going to take a lot to erase the discotastic memory of the spandex-clad Gil Gerard from our retinas (he's blocking our memory of the spandex-clad Erin Gray). If they could somehow capture the true flavor of space opera - perhaps by studying Star Wars (the first one!) and The Empire Strikes Back for a few years - this might work. Maybe Sam Raimi might be a good choice to produce this. His Xena and Hercules had about the right tone and flavor, but they would need to really cast this well, picking the male equivalent of a Lucy Lawless. AGREE

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