Friday, September 4, 2009

What's coming on the Tee Vee?

The new fall television season is right around the corner. In the spirit of that forthcoming digital bliss, here are some suggestions for new TV shows.

Sasquatch and Me
A recent college graduate from a small Oregon town moves to New York City to find his place in the world. Bigfoot is his know it all roommate.

Beverly Hills 11001001
In the near future, the beautiful people of Beverly Hills, who all look to be in their 20s but are supposed to be teenagers, must work through life, love and slutting around all while wearing jet packs, riding hoverboards, and dealing with their cloned parents.

Going to the Dogs
Imagine a future where dogs are intelligent and people are pets. We follow the day to day trials of one such family, the Labradors, and their pet human, Mitch Johnson.

A medical drama where a brilliant, handsome doctor uses his unconventional approach to medicine, and his ever-present tourniquet, to deal with his patients. (Michael McDonald of the Doobie Brothers performs the theme song, "Tie It Off (Twist & Turn).")

A new reality show where the viewer logs onto their computer and, via webcam, watches other viewers watching them watch other viewers watching them watch other viewers.

“Doc” Surgeon, M.D.
A different kind of medical dramady where a handsome, brilliant surgeon uses his unconventional approach to medicine to deal with his patients.

Thrown Away
A cranky but brilliant garbage man sifts through the detritus of society and using his amazing deductive skills finds out who discarded the items, what was wrong in their lives, and helps them fix it. Then he robs them blind at the end of each episode. (Originally pitched to the network as "House Meets Sanford and Son.")

Laugh Tracks
A harried young woman spends her days working a dead end job, all the while trying to figure out from where the “laugh track” that follows her every move is emanating. Bigfoot is her know it all next door neighbor.

Raggedy Android
That loveable rag doll, Raggedy Ann, gets a hi-tech update as the android best friend of a little girl and her busy family.

The moon has been colonized by NASA scientists. Overseeing that unruly bunch are the men, women and talking monkey in blue of Police Precinct: Moon.

Sasquatch & Yeti
A Starsky & Hutch for the 21st century, follows the pair of mismatched detectives Sasquatch and Yeti as they tool around the city in their Bigfoot monster truck and solve crimes. "Grizzly" Bear is their street-smart informant.


  1. "Thrown Away" will be the hit of the season!

    "Laugh Track" will actually be the best show to premiere. However, despite high critical praise, its mediocre ratings and time-slot being continually shuffled around by the network it will only last for 6 episodes. The inevitable DVD of the "Complete" first season (including the unaired pilot, interviews with the cast and writers, and unaired "controversial" episode where the laugh track has an "encounter" with Bigfoot) generates a cult following for the show know the rest.

    "Doc" Surgeon M.D. was sent back for re-tooling where they added a "crusty but benign" female administrator who has to clamp down on "Doc's" unusual methods. New character also adds "sexual tension" (as opposed to sexual chocolate).

  2. You possess the keen eye of a network programmer! FYI, Thrown Away was pitched to the network as "House Meets Sanford & Son"

    Your "Magic 8-Ball" outlook for Laugh Track will doubtless become true. Let me add that its DVD sales will be so good they will make a feature film, which will TANK at the box office (will they never learn that only 1 outta 10 TV shows can ever play on the big screen).

    "Doc" Surgeon M.D. will be the breakout hit of the season and big name actors will want to guest star in its teasers, only to die before the opening credits roll. Just like Police Squad! Maybe the title should be "Doc" Surgeon M.D.!