Monday, September 28, 2009

It's Hot and Fresh and Pissed Off!

For no other reason than it’s a Monday, here is another Fuck You, Alien! (inspired by the Tony Award-winning play).

This edition of FUA is particularly difficult for me as it brings back old childhood scars I thought long healed.

What you are looking at is a horta, a strange last-of-its-kind creature that secrets acid to enable it to tunnel through solid rock like dolphins swimming through water. It also lays eggs to reproduce.

Well, it’s either a horta or a hunk of my old elementary school cafeteria meatloaf (DNA analysis was inconclusive). It’s all there, the overdone, still sizzling from the blast furnace “ground meat-by products” and the Bomb Shelter brand tomato sauce oozing down the sides. Proof that it is the goddamn meatloaf would be the standard issue glob of mashed potatoes with “No Eat I” seared into the top by the undulating loafling, but apparently that was cropped out of the photo.

OMG. It just occurred to me. What if it is a HORTA-MEATLOAF? DNA splicing gone horribly, horribly wrong (a Worst of Both Worlds scenario). I wouldn’t put it past those hair-netted cafeteria bastards.

Image from

Star Trek is Copyright 2009 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No Infringement of those rights is implied.

Cafeteria Meatloaf with Tomato Sauce is copyright and a trademark of my old elementary school. Served weekly since 1972. Heaven help us if that thing gets loose (again).

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