Monday, January 5, 2009

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

Star Trek. I haven’t watched it since the late 80s. It’s been Remastered. Now it’s being Re-viewed.

Star Trek Remastered. “Who Mourns for Adonais.”

This episode opens like one of the old Gold Key Star Trek comic books, when a GIANT HAND reaches out and grabs the Enterprise. All we need now is for rocket exhaust to be coming out of the nacelles and the hanger.

The giant hand belongs to the Greek god Apollo, the originator of the toga party look. He speaks like he’s always talking through a Mr. Microphone, “Hey, good looking, I’ll be back and you can worship me later!” Turns out Apollo is from a race of aliens that came to Earth 5,000 years ago and inspired the legend of the Greek gods. When that party fizzled out, the other gods learned their lesson and left to join the cosmos. As with any party, there is always that ONE GUY, who doesn’t know when to leave gracefully. And that’s Apollo.

Meanwhile, Scotty is all puppy-dog eyes and dragging his drooling tongue after hot blond Lt. Palamas. Apollo, having nothing but three channels (one of them UHF) for the last 5,000 years, naturally falls laurels over heels for the shapely ancient history expert, even turning Mr. Blackwell at one point and dressing her in a revealing pink gown. (Must have been from his own closet.) So, Scotty looses his cool because of the girl and gets knocked around a bit in this one. And Chekov has that stupid Beatles wig here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kirk doesn’t try to reason with Apollo, he just outright refuses to gather laurel leaves and tend sheep. If Kirk had said, "Look Apollo, it’s been 5,000 years since you saw us, we don’t believe in ghosts, gods or magic; we know you’re an alien and you’re using some kind of device or machine to focus and manipulate energy. So let’s not play games. How can we help you?"

If Apollo wanted someone to worship him, he could have opened a daycare center and do magic tricks for the kids all day long. The kids would love it. Apollo would get his adoration. Problem solved!





Disclaimer: Star Trek is Copyright 2008 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is implied.

Thanks to Trekcore.com for the Star Trek screencaps.




4 comments:

  1. Krazy Kossacks/ Seniro Wences?? I think Adonis is Ed Sullivan's understudy! It certainly would have made for a more entertaining episode. This is one of those stories we had to "put up with" when we were kids. It was Star Trek so you just watched it no matter how bad it was. I always hated this one in particular because of the gross mis-use of Scotty. I also hated the other one where they transform him from Starfleet's best engineer to a moon-eyed dope over some airhead in a skirt (who, mysteriously, never appeared again). Not to say the man can't have a private life but really.
    Laurel leaves equal instant stupidity for any TV show from the 60's (or any other era). Where was Michael Dunn when you need him (he always added a touch of class to whatever he was in)? They should put this episode into a blender with "Plato's Stepchildren" for a Greco-Roman puree.

    Mmmmmm, Leslie Parish....

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  2. Just got back from the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas--we caught the Krazy Kossacks at Caesar's Palace. They KILLED.

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  3. I'm glad Scotty and the Krazy Kossacks are getting their due. Seems constantly getting zapped by space aliens with superior physical and mental powers has finally paid off for the man!

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  4. I hear getting zapped multiple times from Space Aliens can lead someone into radically exagerrated their war record and singing Gaelic folk songs.

    Scotty sure didn't seem very private with his private life.

    I have to admit that I was "ok" with this episode when I was younger. Definitely not top tier, but definitely more entertaining than the typical third season episode, where everyone seems over-intense and freaked out.

    Good point about Kirk not even wanting to reason with our buddy Apollo. Kirk seems a little touchy about laurel leaves. Of course, since Shatner is Jewish, he may be concerned with gathering any type of plant life on the Sabbath, since the Old Testament advocates stoning for that kind of transgression.

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