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Qwarthak the Conqueror' Twitter feed.

This recipe for chaos will only bring you a stew of hate and resentment. Or so Qwarthak saw on Rachael Ray. EVOO, indeed.
7:25pm Oct 29

By the Hounds of Hellios IV! Ppl trick or treat B4 Halloween? Why bother even having a frakking holiday calendar? Just celebrate whatevs, whenevs.
7:23pm Oct 29

Qwarthak has obtained a large bag of Twizzlers and is welding each "rope" together. Why? Wouldn’t U like to know?
6:45pm Oct 27

Not that Qwarthak the Conqueror was EVER a childling! Just wanted to get that disclaimer right out there.
1:38pm Oct 24

Qwarthak loves these lentil-based Crunchy Curls from Trader Joe’s. Tastes like bland 60s-era astronaut food Qwarthak had as a childling.
1:37pm Oct 24

Isn’t there a Bigfoot sighting you newsies could be covering?
1:30pm Oct 21

Qwarthak would have personally abducted Balloon Boy if it would have prevented this incessant news coverage.
1:30pm Oct 21

At the drive-thru EVERYONE loses, even the mighty Qwarthak. And this is the ONLY instance where such occurs. Just U remember that.
11:39am Oct 19

But that still would not ensure Qwarthak’s fries coming out hot n fresh. Qwarthak guesses we both lose.
11:38am Oct 19

This drive-thru food hut’s communication device is woefully inadequate. Qwarthak could easily upgrade it for them.
11:38am Oct 19

And why do they always call Qwarthak when Q is getting out of the shower? Are they spying on Qwarthak using evil spying rays? Not kosher.
7:35am Oct 18

That’s how Qwarthak rolls. So to speak.
7:34am Oct 18

Qwarthak will never get a flat tire as Qwarthak travels on magnetic waves.
7:34am Oct 18

Qwarthak hates it when Qwarthak’s insurance co calls and tries to upsell Q on asteroid-side assistance packages.
7:33am Oct 18

Enough with the Balloon Boy coverage! Must Qwarthak eliminate someone with a Thuunkrellian vaporizer? And Qwarthak will DO it too!
11:32am Oct 17

It was just my stupid nephew Raoul Qwarshack. He was joy riding in my bro’s space cruiser (with the top down, natch).
1:31pm Oct 16

The Balloon Boy’s name is “Falcon” and he’s flying up in here. So what’s the problem?
4:32 Oct 15

What’s this about a Balloon Boy?
4:30pm Oct 15