A brand new Star Trek movie is coming out in May, and what else could that mean but new Star Trek-themed colognes! http://trekmovie.com/2009/03/04/trek-spring-collection-preview-first-look-at-genki-star-trek-fragrances/#comment-1592645 (Thanks to my friends D for the heads up on the link, and D & B for suggesting I post this.)
Yes, you too can smell like a Trekkie who just splashed on some cologne to cover up the funk after spending three days walking all over a Howard Johnson's hotel while attending a Star Trek convention. If you're feeling dangerous, and a bit like sleeveless, teeth-gnashing Captain Kirk in "Mirror, Mirror" dab on some Tiberius. If you sense a fatal attraction - in more ways than one - put on a touch of Red Shirt. And if you're just feeling flat out horny, bath in a little Pon Farr, and make those seven seconds seem like seven years.
Seeing as how we here at Bad News From Outer Space are fans of the Big Trek, we've decided to concoct our own line of Star Trek-themed fragrances:
Tribble - "A little makes a lot (happen)."
PhasHer - "The cologne for stunning women."
Matter (for men) and Anti-matter (for women) - "Get together and cause an explosion."
Hailing Frequency – “Keeps all channels open.”
Photon Torpedo – “Obliterate any resistance she has to your charms.” (Warning: contains gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB), aka the Date Rape Drug)
Gorn – “Reptilian. Rubbery. Clumsy. Need we say more?”
And don't forget to use Turbo Shaft translatex condoms and have some Jefferies Lube personal tube lubricant on hand for those most intimate moments, when you, what else, Boldy Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.
Available at fine gas station mini-marts across the galaxy.