In A Daze Of Futures Passed

The cover for The Uncanny X-Men #141 is one of the most legendary in all of comics. Penciller John Byrne and inker Terry Austin (likely under the direction of their X-editor Louise Jones (Simonson)) created a grim masterpiece for part one of the two part future-set epic "Days Of Future Past."

For a while now I have been gathering once a week on the interwebs with friends I made on Twiter and we watch fun silly mostly '70s and '80s fare such as Buck Rogers In The 25the Century, UFO and Space: 1999, Star Trek TOS and TAS, Ultraman, Knight Rider and Automan. However there is one show that brought us all together that first time and from which our group's name was coined: Manimal.

Presented for your approval is my loving homage to the incredible Byrne and Austin cover of that X-Men title for the "ManimAlliance" and many of the wacky goofy television shows of yore we have enjoyed and skewered in friendship.

Uncanny X-Men #141 Copyright 2022 by Marvel Entertainment. 

Pizza: 1999

I used to watch the classic sci-fi TV series Space: 1999 as a kid and I always thought it was more than a bit slow: it was leisurely paced, compared to say Star Trek, episodes were often filmed with heavy shadows on the sets, and lead actor Martin Landau whispered his dialogue when he wasn't shouting it.

But I have had the pleasure of re-watching the episodes online with a group of like-minded folks and they are often a laff riot!

Take this episode, for example:

The moonbase crew, most of them anyway, sit down for an evening of sitar music (why the sitar? why not, said the producers). While the man-bunned electric sitar player strums his heart out, a small group of Alphans just happen to hold a seance in the botany lab -- that's right, they are trying to "make contact" with the plants! Oh, the '70s was full of really far out ideas. Well of course things go terribly wrong in short order, people start seeing a weird apparition, and Alphans start dying.

The man with the plant plan is Italian doctor Dan Mateo, or should-a I say-a "Doctor-a Dan-a Mateo". Yes, kids, he's-a one-a those-a Italian actors who put-a "a" at the end-a most-a his words-a. (I think I might have broken the "a" on my keyboard. Mama Mia!)


This episode is tailor made for people who like to riff on (with love, of course) the movies or TV shows they loved as a kid, with Dr. Chef Boyardee, the psychic plant seance, burn monster apparitions, Barry Morse's antler like sideburns, and Martin Landau's "I'd rather be back on Mission: Impossible" acting choices.

Baskin Rogers and the 25 Flavors of the Century

Viewers of a certain age may fondly recall the NBC sci fi series Buck Rogers in the 25th Century which ran for two season (1979 - 1981).

Created by the soon to be legendary Glen A. Larson, the first season was mostly a very watered down James Bond in Space, where Buck would woo the hottie of the week while fighting the bad guys, which wasted the charm and talents of the lovely Erin Gray as Col. Wilma Deering.

Network audiences weren't ready for a female in charge of things in the disco era so Wilma had less and less to do. It got so bad that in the second season, new producers junked the first season's template and tried to copy Star Trek by having Buck, Wilma, and Twiki team with some new friends on a mission to find lost Earthlings. Think of it as Battlestar Galactica (same producer) in reverse.

Remember I said they wasted Erin Gray. Look at this season two cast photo. They ditched the black and white military uniform (and pants) for what looks like a sailor suit or the person behind the counter at an ice cream shoppe. Baskin Rogers, anyone?

Buffy Fights a Demon She Can't Defeat: HD Reformatting

Do you want to watch the acclaimed TV series Buffy The Vampire Slayer in High Definition?  It is 2014, after all, well into the 21st century, so why not?

Well, according to this article, titled "What's Wrong With Buffy's HD?" you might want to stick with your old standard definition DVDs.

Apparently the cable channel Pivot has been airing a much-maligned HD version of creator Joss Whedon's Buffy in 16:9 format, so it fills up the whole rectangular screen.  Trouble is, Buffy, which premiered in 1997, was shot in the TV standard-of-the-time 4:3 closer-to-a-square ratio. 

Just as wide-screen theatrical movies have long been bastardized when they aired on old square TVs in chopped up, panned and scanned versions, now the same thing is happening with TV shows being converted to HD screens.

Good grief.  Just slap some black bars on the sides and give me the WHOLE remastered HD picture.  Don't do this bad, often silly, re-framing and cropping; to illustrate what the issue is, just have a little five second intro showing WHY reformatting 4:3 images to the full 16:9 screen is a bad idea (visually, aesthetically, artistically).  I would hope viewers today would be more informed of this kind of thing.  Maybe not.

1980s Sci-Fi and Fantasy TV Intros

Here's a great video posted to You Tube which compiles a ton of fun old sci-fi and fantasy TV series opening titles.  The poster, RwDt09, titled it, "11 INTROS TO TACKY 80s SCI-FI/FANTASY TV," but I recall being enthralled by a least of couple of these lost gems: Manimal (due to Stan Winston's great spfx makeup work) and Wizards and Warriors (which had its comedic charms).

But The Highwayman...any show where Sam J. Jones drives a big rig with a GIANT FREAKING HELICOPTER on the front...yeah, that's the definition of "tacky."

Count how may of these shows had one of those openings that explained the show's premise each and every week (The Phoenix, Matthew Star, Outlaws, Highwayman).

Avengers Assemble (Via Waffle Iron, If Necessary)

The fine, funny folks at College Humor featured a pic (click here) comparing and contrasting the Avengers circa their 1978 TV incarnations with the big budget 2012 incarnations.  What a difference a couple decades and a few hundred million bucks does to a superteam.

But to be fair, while Thor, Captain America and the Hulk are all from late 1970s CBS TV series/TV movies, CH's '78 "Iron Man" is actually a character called Exo-Man, which is not a Marvel Comics character, but rather a TV movie/pilot that didn't get picked up.  Ok, so it's an Iron Man rip-off, and from what I vaguely recall from watching the thing, Exo-Man used a giant wafle-iron-like device to suit up.  Oh, here it is (thanks YouTube) .

Photoshop Phasered Fumetti

Blasts from the Photoshop TOS Fumetti past.

Star Trek is Copyright 2014 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc.  Screencaps from Trekcore.com. Metaluna monster Copyright Its Respective Rights Holder. No infringement of these rights is intended with this parody.

Snake Plissken takes on Hazel the Maid

Perhaps the greatest "double feature" EVER aired on OTA station Antenna TV this morning.  From 6a -8a, they showed the scifi actioner "Escape From New York," featuring the adventures of the cynical, wise-cracking, take charge Snake Plissken.  This was immediately followed by two episodes of "Hazel," the classic 1950s sitcom about the adventures of a cynical, wise-cracking, take charge maid named Hazel.

I just know Hazel would have had a field day cleaning up NYC after it became a maximum security prison. 

Beam Me Up, Flipper

Post-Star Trek TOS, William Shatner guest starred on The Six Million Dollar Man as Steve Austin's friend and a fellow astronaut Josh.

Instead of getting into an accident and getting $6 mil worth of bionics, Josh instead passed through some kind of weird energy field in space and came back with the ability to understand dolphin math (and hear weird computer sounds in the process)!

Yes, apparently Flipper and his buds use sine, cosine and fractions just as much as they gulp down fish treats.

io9 has a terrific clip of these proceedings.  Just wait til you get to the end for the wacked out math stuff.

SHARKNADO 1, WORLD 0

We now live in a world where SHARKNADO was not only a goofy idea for a cheesy scifi movie, but a world in which SHARKNADO was actually made and broadcast on the airwaves.

It's your world, SHARKNADO, we're all just living swimming in it.

Bionic Guffaws

I just caught a couple of episodes of the late 1970s sci-fi/action series The Bionic Woman with the lovely Lindsay Wagner in the role of Jaime Sommers.  It airs in the L.A. area on COZI, an over the air station.

Yikes, but I do not remember the stories being so bad.  One was a yuck fest where Jaime teamed with a retired OSI agent with a penchant for wigs and European accents to take down a former Cold War adversary of said agent.  Even the music was so in your face hokey jokey, as if casting a huge spotlight on the goofy proceedings.  But the other episode is the one that took the cake -- hell, it made off with the entire bakery. It involved an evil hair stylist and his mind-control hairdryer!  (Read that sentence again, I dare you.)  Did they just dust off old rejected Get Smart scripts for this show?

Oh, well, Lindsay Wagner was always pretty in each episode, and a much better actress than the goofy scripts allowed.

The Powers Of Number Four or I Am Matthew Star

So I'm sitting there watching the film I Am Number Four, a 2011 release about an alien kid with special powers and his guardian hiding out on earth from the evil forces from their home planet who are determined to wipe them out...hey, OMG, this is just a rehash of The Powers Of Matthew Star!

Check it, Matthew Star was a 1982 scif TV show about an alien kid with special powers and his guardian...heck, since this was the 80s, the opening credits of every episode TOLD THE WHOLE STORY.  Here they are, courtesy of Wikipedia:

"Quadris, twelve light years across the galaxy from Earth. It was home for us until an intergalactic armada conquered it. I fought by the royal family's side, but in vain. Even their remarkable powers weren't enough. The crown prince and I escaped to the nearest planet on which we could survive and further his powers in order to some day return to free his people.

"Here on Earth, the prince is known as Matthew Star. He's a typical American teenager. He has friends; people who love him. And me, his guardian. I'm the only one who knows how special he is. Life for us is a series of joys and dangers. Enemy assassins constantly come to destroy us. Alone, we must survive."

That's pretty much the plot of Number Four, minus the planet Quadris (giggle), and the fact that in this story there is more than one kid with the "power cosmic," as Stan Lee would put it.

Number Four annoyed me almost immediately in that the high school kids looked like they were in their 20s, which they mostly were (how very The CW of them).  Its funny how Hollywood is never able to find 16 or 17 year old actors to play 16 or 17 year old characters; it's always people in their mid-20s.

This movie just about put me to sleep right away.  Alex Pettyfer as the put upon Numero Quatro hardly registered as a screen presence (his pecs notwithstanding), Justified's Timothy Olyphant was miscast as Henri the guardian, aka the Louis Gossett Jr role on Matthew Star.  Much better was Teresa Palmer as Number Six who appears in the latter part of the film.  She's pretty, looks like she could be in high school, and had a fun kick-butt character, kind of like a well-adjusted Hit Girl.

The alien Mogadishu or Mogadorians or whatever looked stupid, with their tattooed bald heads, black eyes,  goofy teeth and Matrix trenchcoats - they resemble a Filmation cartoon's animated villain brought to live action life.

I Am Number Four is based on a Young Adult series of novels, but the juvenile tone of the move, the negative response from the critics and shallow box office would indicate that this is not the first film of the hoped-for franchise.

Maybe they could just reboot The Powers of Matthew Star for the big screen.  Or not.

Dark Shadows: A Pale Shadow Of Its TV Incarnation

Dark Shadows (2012)

Director Tim Burton and producer/star Johnny Depp decided to take on Dan Curtis' cult Gothic TV soap opera Dark Shadows and pretty much bore us to death.

Writer Seth Graeme-Smith's (famous for the novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) story has absolutely nothing original, or even interesting, to say. He also had way too many characters on his cinematic plate and did not write well for most of them.

In a familiar tale involving bloodsuckers, Depp's 18th vampire Barnabas Collins is let loose upon the 20th century (1972, to be exact) and he makes undead goo goo eyes at the Collins family's new governess, Victoria (Bella Heathcote), who just so happens to be the spitting image of Josette (also Heathcote) the woman he once loved back in the day.  This is supposed to be going on while Barnabas helps the remaining Collins family descendents, led by matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), reclaim the Collins' family standing in their Maine fishing community.

I say "supposed to" because Graeme-Smith appears to have forgotten to write scenes showing Barnabas and Vicky together and falling in love again (unless Burton and his editors cut them all out).  You know, showing them doing something; spending time together and getting to know each other, rekindling the magic, or making new magic (the montage of rebuilding the Collins fishing biz does not count).  Since he doesn't, when it comes to that point in the movie where Barnabas declares his love for Victoria, we, the audience, cry out "Bullshit!"  Hey, if the movie-makers don't care, why the eff should we?  Also, for being a fish out of water tale, there aren't any quotable lines or truly memorable situations involving Barnabas as the 18th century gentleman in the groovy early 70s (Austin Powers had better and funnier scenes contrasting generation gaps).  There were, perhaps, opportunities, but nothing that sticks with you (Barnabas' fascination with teenager Carolyn's lava lamp just seemed like Depp acting silly, as if he was improvising that day).

This is a very minor effort from Burton.  Visually, it looks like someone trying to copy the style of a Tim Burton film, but it doesn't fully commit to the whimsy of an Edward Scissorhands or the Gothic creepiness of his Sleepy Hollow (featuring Johnny Depp without garish makeup!).   It feels a bit like Burton's Planet of the Apes, a workman-like effort where he was a director for hire there.  The tone was all over the place: dead serious at the beginning, morphing to Depp's silly/goofy manner and dialogue in the modern day scenes.  Also there was a suggested oral sex scene with Dr. Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter, in the Helena Bonham Carter role in a Tim Burton movie) and Barnabas that was totally out of place in this PG-13 movie.

The cast, which includes Chloe Moretz as trippy daughter Carolyn and Jackie Earle Haley as Willie the groundskeeper, is mostly fine, with Eva Green being the standout as forever-beautiful witch Angelique (its really her movie).  I think Depp's Barnabas would have been better played without the goofy pancake makeup and raccoon eyes (the heavy makeup, emphasizing the curves in Depp's face, makes him look like a little boy).  After all, original Barnabas Jonathan Frid did an outstanding job, and even became a sex symbol of sorts, without having to go to such lengths.  Someone needs to tell Depp that he doesn't always need to hide behind elaborate makeup and funny costumes when he plays in fantasy films (look at Alec Guinness in Star Wars).  Frid's plastered-to-his-forehead hair was all Depp needed.  The rest of the character should have been handled with, I dunno, ACTING.

Music For A Sci-Fi Friday

You like your sci-fi movies/TV shows.

You like your music videos.

Squish them together and you get stuff like Tom Petty's "You Got Lucky," featuring the great Sandman ground car from the short-lived Logan's Run TV show, dusty desert locations and stock footage from Galactica: 1980 (which was just footage from the disaster flick Earthquake combined with Cylon Raider spaceship blasting clips from Battlestar Galactica).

You also get Rick Springfield's  sci-fi headscratcher, "Bop Til You Drop."  Whose idea was it to pair the clean cut Springfield and his upbeat pop tune with a grungy, dystopic future setting, replete with decent miniature models (inspired by the movie Dune?), Metropolis-like slave workers, mutant makeup jobs and Rick's future-mullet?

Rewind: The Eliminators Movie Review

Before we close out 2-aught-12, we rewind the blog back to February 13, 2010 and this look at the cult 80s Charles Band flick, The Eliminators!

A scientist, a ninja, and a Mandroid walk into a bar

Eliminators (1986)

Not a review, but more a stream of consciousness reaction. This is "Man with a Laptop Watches a Movie II."

“Empire Pictures Presents” – Yikes, that was Charles Band’s company and a sure sign that quality will not be a huge consideration.

Generic keyboard soundtrack right off the bat. There’s also a little blast of music when the Eliminators title flashes on screen, a true hallmark of 1980s cinema along with mullets and leg warmers.

“Peggy Mannix?” – Did Joe Mannix have a kid in between all his investigating and beating up thugs for Intertect?

Stock footage of a WWII era plane going down. The pilot is saying “may day, may day” but it sounds like “ribbit, ribbit.”

I didn’t realize Vasquez Rocks was colonized by Roman soldiers.

Now THIS is a fun (non-Casio keyboard) score that just kicked in, set to what looks like Charles Bands version of 2001’s slit scan photography.

“Help the Mandroid from the cage Takata.” How many times have we heard THAT before?

Mandroid looks like the love child of an old school Cylon and an HVAC surplus store.

Mad scientist Roy Dotrice as Reeves does his own electrolysis. But does he bill his insurance?

The Mandroid needs his “Mobile Unit?” Ohhh.

The Mandroid’s Mobile Unit kicks serious ass. It's got treads like a tank, that thing is amazing! Robocop needs to get him one a those for his new movie.

Why would the Mandroid EXIT Reeves' compound and THEN turn and scream out “Reeves!” How is he going to hear him?

Mandroid looks like he’s got a swamp cooler coming out of his back. That or a four-slice toaster.

This forest is filled with nothing but fog machines, spotlights and heartache.

DENISE CROSBY ALERT! Wait, she’s only 20-something and she’s a COLONEL? Of what?

Why does her buddy S.P.O.T. look almost exactly like V.I.N.CENT. from The Black Hole? Perhaps it has something to do with a purloined plastic model kit. And why does S.P.O.T. turn into an irritating ball of bouncing light?

Good thing Mandroid used the green sleep gas, like comics' Dr. Mid-Nite.

The Mandroid shops at Home Depot for all his black-tarp-as-coat needs.

That’s a lot of sparks, Mandroid better get MAACO.

First Mandroid, then Data, Denise Crosby must have a thing for cybermen.

“Seach Patrol and Operational Tactician.” Wait that spells….
Aww, little dude likes The Jetsons.

Andrew Prine is rockin’ that sleeveless army shirt. Not really. Dude’s spindly arms look like the average 10 year old kid’s legs.

Look out, it’s Rosie O’Donnell’s stunt double! Wearing plaid!

It’s “Rednecks on Mexican Waters!” Sounds like a new Disney ride.

Boat chases and explosions? Is this a Bond movie? No, not James Bond, Gomer Bond (his third cousin, twice removed).

Why is “Bayou Betty” boating around with a foppish French maitre d?

Little S.P.O.T. has a full Qwerty keyboard.

Why does Mandroid always sound like he has a mouth full of marbles and he’s speaking in slow motion? Even Stephen Hawking is easier to understand.

“Quo Vadis means “we kick ass”?” Must be a new translation.

This is a sci fi movie, so why all the unnecessary “Dukes of Hazzard on Water” stunts?

So that swamp cooler on Mandroid’s back is just some kind of mounting bracket for S.P.O.T?

All this tromping around over boulders and forest reminds me of Korg, 70,000 B.C. What?

Is this some kind of weird sci fi version of Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness,” with the long, slow boat trip up the river?

Mandroid and S.P.O.T. overboard! They’ll probably be swallowed by a giant anaconda or Jennifer Lopez (yes, that was redundant).

“John, oh my GAWD!” – suddenly Denise is Snooki from Jersey Shore.

It’s really nice to see old-fashioned hand drawn cell animated energy bolt things. (wipes away a tear)
Roy Dotrice really needs to learn to use a needle and thread better, because his facial scars are just getting nastier. (They look like one of those dotted line trails of Billy from Family Circus when he wanders to and fro.)

Mandy and S.P.O.T. walk and float, respectively, out of the water. Now S.P.O.T. is a big useless squirt gun (so much for the Super Soaker tie in).

CAVEMEN ARE ATTACKING DENISE CROSBY! And, wtf, Andrew Prine is somehow pulled underwater and captured in a giant homemade cage.

“Oh, hi, ninja” Mandroid doing a Tommy Wiseau impression to Kuji the Ninja as he ninja-squats near a fire.

I gotta ask: How many mad scientist’s Japanese assistants have ninja sons? I’m taking a poll for Gallup.

Since when do ninjas have mullets? That’s like number one on the ninja checklist: NO mullets.

I can’t tell if that’s a caveman or cavewoman. Since it’s got Betty White’s hairstyle I’m gonna go with cavewoman.

Ninja with nunchuks vs. cavepeople with spears. Care to wager on that outcome?

Mandroid’s feet have little boat motors in them? Was he built by Evinrude?

“We got robots, we got cave men, we got kung fu!” (Andrew Prine) – That should have been the tagline for the poster.

Mandroid hid his Mobile Unit by leaving it out in plain sight? Wile E. Coyote could have done a better job of hiding it.

LOOKOUT, IT’S MEGAFORCE MOTORCYCLE REJECTS! Their windshields are made of a kind of flyswatter-mesh material instead of plastic. That breaks so many automotive and mad scientist safety rules.

The Mobile Unit is toast! Because he tried to drive it up a boulder and it fell over? What an ignominious end.

The fat henchman who acts like a spazzy extra from The Fall Guy takes a tumble.

I can appreciate the fact these guys get into so much trouble, but I just wish any of it were the least bit interesting. It's like The Lord of the Rings: they're trying to get to a place to do a thing, and keep running into obstacles. But instead of orcs and Nazgul, the Eliminators run into fat guys, cavemen, and Mexican hench-hombres. It somehow lacks a certain zing.

Mandroid looks like he needs a cuddle with Denise Crosby. Heck, she once did it with Data, so we know she’s “into” machines.

S.P.O.T.’s back but the little iSHIT is possessed or something.

Strike the pose: Kuji the ninja is vogue-ing to avoid S.P.O.T.’s wee laser blasts.

Ninja sword to S.P.O.T.’s CPU! Go gently into that digital goodnight, sweet S.P.O.T.

They simply walk out of Backlit Forest right up to the mad scientist’s lair and no one notices.

You are shitting me! Kuji the ninja just JUMPED through the blades of a giant spinning fan. Is there nothing that a Supercuts' mullet won’t allow you to do?

Now they’re in Indiana Jones’ rumpus room with all the shiny idols and “fortune and glory.”

Roy Dotrice wants to go back in time and rule ancient Rome? “Hail Reeves” just doesn’t have the same ring as “Hail Caesar!”

This mad scientist has the worst dressed hench-people: it’s all faded denim and plaid and golf shirts. WHERE’S THE ONE PIECE SINGLE-COLORED DR. NO-APPROVED JUMPSUITS?

One well-thrown shuriken can sure mess up an ion disruptor cannon big time.

Does Roy Dotrice get paid for every time he utters the name “Mandroid?”

With his last Radio Shack transistor the Mandroid saves his friends. (sniff)

Reeve’s time machine looks like a giant prototype for a flux capacitor.

Andrew Prine just punched the mad scientist’s computer. Ah, the old days of vacuum tubes and do-it-yourself tech support.

Great Land of the Lost-type partial set and matte painting/miniature of the Silurian Era!

They freeze-frame on our heroes laughing at their victory a la Police Squad…and it’s over!

Eliminators was written by Danny Bilson and Paul De Meo, one of their first efforts for producer Charles Band. They went on to write, produce or direct such genre gems as The Flash tv show, The Rocketeer and The Sentinel. You can tell they were influenced by comic books, Star Wars and Steven Spielberg movies with the whole "lovable scoundrel teams up with a Ninja, a beautiful scientist, and a Cyborg" angle. But they simply didn't have a budget to do this justice. Three quarters of the movie seems to be the river boat trip and stomping around in the woods. It fills time but it's not a whole lot of fun. Of course if you had better actors, it might have been a different story.

Denise Crosby is all over the place; at times she's fine, then other times she gives a line delivery that makes you cringe. Roy Dotrice should have been in charge of set demolition with all the scenery he got to chew at the end as Reeves 2.0 the Superbot. Top-billed Andrew Prine acts like he's in an episode of a typical 80s tv show, like Dynasty or Hart to Hart; he's serviceable at best. And Patrick Reynolds as John the Mandroid had the hardest part in the movie, walking around in what must have been a very hot and confining costume. His performance was very wooden at the start (a mistake so many people playing androids or cyborgs seem to make), but he loosened up toward the end, only to have his character buy the digital farm. The less said about R2-D2-by-way-of-V.I.N.CENT. rip-off S.P.O.T. the better (for comic relief why do they always go with Smuf-cute instead of Bandit from Jonny Quest cute). As I said above, the Heart of Darkness parallel is quite evident, but it's also evident director Peter Manoogian just didn't have the inventiveness or creativity to do anything with it.

I would kill for an R/C miniature of the Mandroid and his Mobile Unit (you could probably cannibalize one of those Robocop figures to start with). Come on prop and model makers, get on that !!

Eliminators poster image Copyright its Respective Rights Holder. No infringement of those rights is intended with this review.

Chuck Norris vs Frankenstein!

Quick, what's the name of the only horror movie that chop-socky legend Chuck Norris has ever done?

If you answered Silent Rage, then you were correct.  You were probably also one of the other nine people in the theater to see this horror/scifi turkey upon its release (some might say "escape") in 1982.

In it Big Chuck plays a small town sheriff (is there any other kind in movies - Arnold Schwarzenegger also plays a small town sheriff in his first flick since leaving the Governator role behind), who runs into some tall gangly weirdo killer who is shot fulla lead, and then while knockin' on death's door, subsequently experimented on by a couple of weirdo CSI/scientist types who basically turn him into an unstoppable (read, unkillable) zombie killing machine. 

Chuck don't take too kindly to unstoppable low-rent Terminator-types killing up his small town, so his boots get a good workout, what with about 175 spin kicks in the movie.

Why did Chuck Norris do a horror movie, you ax (get it - horror movie - ax)?  Well, this was a Chuck-before-the-beard flick, so we can forgive him for this lapse in judgment/good taste/grooming just once.

Here's the trailer for this nonsense.

Comic Book Movie Casting, Meteors and More

WhatCulture.com has a new piece up about unusual, or oddball, casting choices for comic book movies. Michael Keaton's casting as Batman was likely the first oddball casting for a comic book movie that really worked; the most recent may be Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man.  Let's keep that up, Hollywood.  We need more of that kind of "out of the box" (though that's such an overused phrase) stuff and less of the Nick Cage as Ghost Rider or Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern business.

In sadder news, noted director of photography Harris Savides passed away recently.  Mr. Savides worked with directors as varied as Sofia Coppola, Ridley Scott and David Fincher; his work on the period thriller "Zodiac" for Fincher was especially notable.  Indiewire.com's The Playlist takes a look at his amazing work.

To end the week on a high note, Space: 1970 has a post up with the press kit photos from the scifi disaster pic "Meteor," starring none other than James Bond himself, Sean Connery, the late Natalie Wood and some really bad special effects (the space platform with the missiles looks about two feet long and made from cheap plastic - which it probably was!).

I watched the first 15 minutes of "Meteor" not too long ago, and all I remember was that Connery wore an overcoat that was this thick, massive, leather number that looked to have been made from an entire cow (see the first pic in that post).  That and he brought the thing with him into every scene he was in.  (Connery was a millionaire by the time this movie was made, so maybe he told the producers, "I don't need any money, but I would like a really nice warm coat for those Scottish nights I could keep afterward.").  To stop the meteor they should have just thrown Connery's coat over it.

A Turkish Movie and A Gimp Walk Into a Target Store

I came upon these two bits while perusing Gawker.com this a.m.

One is that my favorite department store Target is setting a "Gimp" costume from American Horror Story.  I'd recommend trying this one on in the story before purchasing it.  Maybe walk around a bit to see how it feels.

The second bit is from our Turkish filmmaking friends (or should that be "fiends?"), with the "Worst Movie Death Scene."  Some chick is shooting some dude sporting what I call a "split-level" mustache.

Little-seen 1980s Series to Transform Into Little-seen Feature Film

Okay, who the frak is responsible for this?

Is it you?

Manimal is coming back from the dead. (This according to io9.com.)  That's right that little seen Glen A. Larson "gem" from the early 80s is apparently being brought out of mothballs - or in this case, the taxidermist - to star in a feature film.  And instead of Stan Winston's man-to-animal makeup transformations, we will get CGI morphing instead. Whoopee.

Here is the premise of the show: "a wealthy doctor with a mysterious past, who morphed into animals in order to help the police fight crime."

If Ben Stiller is tapped for the lead, I am so there.

Old Time Saturday Morning Goofiness

Because every work week should end with a little Bigfoot and Wildboy.