Tuesday, February 23, 2010

To the Bat-basement!

io9's got a post whose first item includes this nifty and darn near rip-snorting little gem: the cover to a very illegal and extremely bootlegged Batman toy...of some sort.

The toy, which claims to be a "log" (we only see the back of the packaging) and is likely made in China, is more than a bit schizophrenic as to which Batman it belongs, as it includes the Batman & Robin movie logo, photos of Christian Bale from Batman Begins, and for good measure, a pic from the recent cartoon The Batman. But that's NOT the funny part.

The funny part is in the description, which in the best "Engrish" tradition of grammatical rigmarole and whack-assedness. It starts thusly, "When being a child, Bruce Wayne had witnessed with his own eyes the fact his parents of millionaire were killed cruelly...."

Gotham City is apparently too complicated a name, so it's now simply called "Gete."

I love this part, "Bruce found a basement under his villa." Now he has a Bat-basement instead of a Batcave. It doesn't have that same air of mystery. (I just hope Bruce has Bat-basement flood insurance, cuz you just know he's gonna need it one day, probably when Aquaman - who I'm guessing is called Water Moccasin in China - visits.)

And forget super-villains like the Joker, the Riddler and Mr. Freeze. Chinese Batman of Gete has got to watch out for Doctor Jackstraw. Doctor Jackstraw? W.T.F? (I'm guessing that's a convoluted version of Scarecrow, but you can never be sure with "Engrish.")

Whoever wrote it should write the riffs for the Chinese version of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

1 comment:

  1. You forgot the funniest part, they called him Spiderman!!!!! Hilarious!!