The Onion: FAA Study Finds 64% Of Engine Failures Caused By Henchman Being Kicked Into Turbine

The Onion has this very important and timely article regarding airline safety mishaps vis a vie super-villain henchmen. LINK

My takeaway from this story is simple: NEVER to fly Blofeld Airlines, Drax Airways, or especially the cut-rate, cheapie service S.P.E.C.T.AIR.