Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Font Trek: The Graphics Picture

Alright I'll admit it: I am a font junkie. I'm not a graphic designer but I love the many, many fonts which have been created over the years for books, movie posters, and advertisements to name a few places.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture has one of the sleekest, coolest fonts there is, one that was arrived at, no doubt, after much thought and deliberation by the filmmakers and the studio. It is a timeless style. But what if they went down a different graphics route? I put together some alternate fonts for fun, including the font perhaps most often used in science fiction movies/TV and books for the 1970s. And I am not talking about The Brady Bunch font.


 Star Trek is a trademark of Paramount/CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended with this parody.

Robert Pattinson's Batmobile Is Just Wacky

 With all the hubbub this weekend from DC's Fandome I just want to remind everyone that Robert Pattinson's Batman drive this new Batmobile. 

Monday, October 4, 2021

The Poseidon Adventure on the Planet of the Apes

Two great genre tastes that go great together (or at least they should).

Journey with us now as our stalwart heroes, including Taylor, a cynical astronaut, Reverend Scott, a cynical priest, Roddy McDowall in surprising dual roles, and a cast of Hollywood luminaries sail aboard the S.S. Poseidon on its fateful voyage. 

The reveries soon turn to screams as the Poseidon encounters the strangest, strongest tsunami wave ever, which not only overturns our ship but sends it thousands of years into the future. A future ruled by Apes!

Parody poster. No copyright infringement is intended with this work.

Bat Slap!

 Batman just doling out a general purpose Bat-slap to the Boy Wonder.

We all know Robin will deserve one sooner or later.

Batman and Robin are Copyright and Trademark 2021 by DC Comics Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended with this parody. 

Bajoran Airlines - We Put The Prophets Before Our Profits

 Need to get away for a few days? Bajoran Airlines has you covered.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is Copyright and Trademark 2021 by CBS Studios, Inc. No infringment of those rights is intended by they parody.

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

The Vedek Bariel Bariety Show - The Dullest Show on Television

You know him. You hate him. He is Star Trek's most boring character. 

Yes, it is Vedek Bariel. And now he is getting his own variety special: Star Trek: The Vedek Bariel Bariety Show.

Watch as he slowly falls apart, annoying and boring Major Kira, Dr. Bashir and any and everyone else who crosses his dull, plodding path.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is Copyright 2021 CBS Studios. No infringement of those rights is intended with this parody/satire.


"Imperial Tellers have entered the base! Make your withdrawals now."

 Star Wars is Copyright 2021 by Lucasfilm Ltd and the Walt Disney Company. Original AT-AT art copyright by its creator. No infringement is intended with this parody/satire.

Children of the Popcorn


Requiem For A Bigscreen TV

Flint, the Immortal Man from the #TOS classic "Requiem For Methuselah" has a nice TV in his den but not only is it not 4K it is not even widescreen? Where does he get his tech toys from? 

Star Trek is Copyright 2021 by CBS Studios. No infringement is intended with this parody/satire.

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Guardian of Forever Buffering


Star Trek is a Registered Trademark and Copyright 2020 CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved. No infringement of those rights is implied with this parody.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Space: 1999 episode "The Taybor" Features the Worst Alien Hairstyle in the Universe

This cock was a crock. The episode "The Taybor" of Space: 1999 featured, hands down, the lamest alien menace with the WORST hairstyle in all of sci fi: he looked like a cockatoo.

So in honor of this load of space garbage that even Quark the space sanitation guy (that is a 70s reference, kids, not the Quark from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) would not take out, here is Cockatoo magazine's latest issue. Also their first and only! Collection it all!

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Hoarders of the Last Toilet Paper

Just after President Trump declared a National Emergency at the end of last week due to the spread of the coronavirus, American shoppers decided to LOSE THEIR GODDAMN MINDS and go panic shopping, stocking up on - or more precisely hoarding - toilet paper, bottled water, medicines, masks, and more.

Toilet paper? Yes, toilet paper. Sigh.

The human race is doomed.

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Pizza: 1999

I used to watch the classic sci-fi TV series Space: 1999 as a kid and I always thought it was more than a bit slow: it was leisurely paced, compared to say Star Trek, episodes were often filmed with heavy shadows on the sets, and lead actor Martin Landau whispered his dialogue when he wasn't shouting it.

But I have had the pleasure of re-watching the episodes online with a group of like-minded folks and they are often a laff riot!

Take this episode, for example:

The moonbase crew, most of them anyway, sit down for an evening of sitar music (why the sitar? why not, said the producers). While the man-bunned electric sitar player strums his heart out, a small group of Alphans just happen to hold a seance in the botany lab -- that's right, they are trying to "make contact" with the plants! Oh, the '70s was full of really far out ideas. Well of course things go terribly wrong in short order, people start seeing a weird apparition, and Alphans start dying.

The man with the plant plan is Italian doctor Dan Mateo, or should-a I say-a "Doctor-a Dan-a Mateo". Yes, kids, he's-a one-a those-a Italian actors who put-a "a" at the end-a most-a his words-a. (I think I might have broken the "a" on my keyboard. Mama Mia!)

This episode is tailor made for people who like to riff on (with love, of course) the movies or TV shows they loved as a kid, with Dr. Chef Boyardee, the psychic plant seance, burn monster apparitions, Barry Morse's antler like sideburns, and Martin Landau's "I'd rather be back on Mission: Impossible" acting choices.

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Christmas Comes To Pac Land, and Brings Nightmares For Us All

I just watched the execrable "Christmas Comes To Pac-Land" Pac-Man cartoon special from 1982. I took a bullet for you Internet with this one. We're talking full metal jacket. 

When Santa first appears his sleigh crashes and when Pac Man and his goofy friends find him the animators drew Santa all sprawled out as if he was modeling a Playgirl centerfold! Don't believe me...LOOK AT THE IMAGE BELOW! (Yes, I "took away" his pants to make the gag more obvious, but come on!)  

To cleanse myself of this hideous special, I made up the Santafold for Playelf magazine. You are welcome, Internet!


Are Baby Yoda and the IKEA Monkey the Same Thing?