Star Trek: TNG Copyright 2010 and Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended. The BP Oil Spill mess is their fault. Screencaps from Trekcore.com.
Sci-Fi and Fantasy from A (Artoo-Detoo) to Z (Zardoz)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Oil Slick
Star Trek: TNG Copyright 2010 and Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended. The BP Oil Spill mess is their fault. Screencaps from Trekcore.com.
Monday, June 21, 2010
The G in "G-Force" Stands for Guano
G-Force (2009)
Ten minutes.
That's as far as I got through G-Force, the "Mission: Impossible with guinea pigs" movie from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney.
Those ten minutes were filled with the most banal dialogue and limp pop culture references, courtesy of writers Cormac and Marianne Wibberley (with an apparent, and uncredited, assist from Pirates of the Caribbean scribes Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio). Wow, it took four well-paid people to write shit for kids. And I mean shit. for. kids. Very little kids. Of the diaper-wearing variety. Jesus H., but the average episode of the old Mr. Ed series was funnier than this garbage.
Those ten minutes were also filled with the little rodents using their tiny James Bond-inspired gear to infiltrate some wanna-be world conqueror's palatial estate. Spy Kids did the same kind of thing, but with infinitely more cleverness and fun - in both the gadgets and the script! And of course, as is the case with CGI creations the camera is constantly whizzing and zooming around. Fucking enough already! That added absolutely NOTHING to the story or characterizations. When will Hollywood get it through their thick skulls that 99% of these CGI-filled movies, especially critter features like this one, will be instantly forgotten by the public. Toy Story, which I just watched again on Saturday, stuck with solid characterizations, spot on voice work, a good story and it didn't go overboard with the CGI camera-work. Now, it's a modern classic, while G-Force will forever be confined to the $2.99 or less bin, alongside colorized Mexican wrestling films and Jazzercise videos by Judi Sheppard Missett.
Stand-up comic/actor Zach Galifianakis is utterly wasted as the guinea pigs human handler. WHY cast someone like the brilliant and bizarre Galifianakis only to simply neuter him in the movie? Why give him the Ken Berry role?
The guinea pigs are all voiced by big stars, including Nicholas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Penelope Cruz and Tracy Morgan. None of them does anything exceptional in their roles, save perhaps a nearly unrecognizable Cage nasally voicing the thick-specs-wearing star-nosed mole, Speckles. Morgan does a "family safe" version of his outsized personality (in real life and from 30 Rock), but it's so watered down as to be unfunny. Anyone remember Richard Pryor in Superman III? Same crap here.
Let's face it, this thing smells like something that pooped itself, died, and needs to be flushed down the toilet. ASAP.
Ten minutes.
That's as far as I got through G-Force, the "Mission: Impossible with guinea pigs" movie from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney.
Those ten minutes were filled with the most banal dialogue and limp pop culture references, courtesy of writers Cormac and Marianne Wibberley (with an apparent, and uncredited, assist from Pirates of the Caribbean scribes Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio). Wow, it took four well-paid people to write shit for kids. And I mean shit. for. kids. Very little kids. Of the diaper-wearing variety. Jesus H., but the average episode of the old Mr. Ed series was funnier than this garbage.
Those ten minutes were also filled with the little rodents using their tiny James Bond-inspired gear to infiltrate some wanna-be world conqueror's palatial estate. Spy Kids did the same kind of thing, but with infinitely more cleverness and fun - in both the gadgets and the script! And of course, as is the case with CGI creations the camera is constantly whizzing and zooming around. Fucking enough already! That added absolutely NOTHING to the story or characterizations. When will Hollywood get it through their thick skulls that 99% of these CGI-filled movies, especially critter features like this one, will be instantly forgotten by the public. Toy Story, which I just watched again on Saturday, stuck with solid characterizations, spot on voice work, a good story and it didn't go overboard with the CGI camera-work. Now, it's a modern classic, while G-Force will forever be confined to the $2.99 or less bin, alongside colorized Mexican wrestling films and Jazzercise videos by Judi Sheppard Missett.
Stand-up comic/actor Zach Galifianakis is utterly wasted as the guinea pigs human handler. WHY cast someone like the brilliant and bizarre Galifianakis only to simply neuter him in the movie? Why give him the Ken Berry role?
The guinea pigs are all voiced by big stars, including Nicholas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Penelope Cruz and Tracy Morgan. None of them does anything exceptional in their roles, save perhaps a nearly unrecognizable Cage nasally voicing the thick-specs-wearing star-nosed mole, Speckles. Morgan does a "family safe" version of his outsized personality (in real life and from 30 Rock), but it's so watered down as to be unfunny. Anyone remember Richard Pryor in Superman III? Same crap here.
Let's face it, this thing smells like something that pooped itself, died, and needs to be flushed down the toilet. ASAP.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Subscribe NOW!
We've had some publication problems - among other things, the Reptile-in-Chief had severe molting issues and staffers spent several months getting high from the old mimeograph machines used to create this magazine - but, at long last, here's the second issue of Iguana Monthly.
Star Trek is Copyright 2010 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended with this parody. Screencap from Trekcore.com.
Star Trek is Copyright 2010 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended with this parody. Screencap from Trekcore.com.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Review: Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Sherlock Holmes is a staple of filmed entertainment. A quick look at IMDb.com shows that in the 2000s alone there have been nearly 20 productions for TV and the movies featuring Arthur Conan Doyle's venerable detective (including at least one animated appearance).
Now some boob in movieland had the "brilliant" idea to turn Sherlock Holmes into a superhero or, more to the point, a slovenly James Bond. (I hope you read the sarcasm in between the quotation marks on brilliant.)
Here we get director Guy Ritchie's bloated big-screen mess. This is one slow slog of a movie, one where you either constantly check your watch or, in this case, the DVD counter. Robert Downey Jr. dons the English accent he first used in Chaplin as Holmes, but I didn't care much for his characterization. For today's PG-13 audiences, they removed Holmes' heroin addiction for the more palatable alcoholism and just general bad hygiene. Downey's eyes are normally full of life - check out the first Iron Man film, or The Soloist - but here they seem dead. At least they match the bleak cinematography and set design of the rest of the movie.
Instead of a real personality, the movie turns Holmes into either Batman or Daredevil, both comic book superheroes who have no superhuman powers but are masters of hand-to-hand combat. Downey's Holmes likes to go down to the docks and have a go at smelly greasers who are much bigger than he is. Like Fast Eddie Felson he comes in as an underdog, bets on himself, gets knocked around a bit, then kicks it into high gear to win at the end.
Jude Law plays Dr. John Watson, Holmes friend, sidekick, flatmate, and sometime chronicler. I'm just going to say it: Law is simply too pretty to play the sidekick. He was Gigalo Joe after all. The filmmakers were definitely shooting for that "old married couple" vibe, but the script largely falls short of that. There's no memorable dialogue to speak of. For such a clever man, Holmes doesn't have many clever things to say. Perhaps they should have had David Mamet, Quentin Tarantino or, heck, Kevin Smith take a pass at Holmes' dialogue. If you're going to "reinvent" a 113 year old character, do more than make him a MMA stud. When you think about it, the best interpretation of Sherlock Holmes in the last ten years has been Hugh Laurie's turn as Dr. House on TV's House, M.D. There they left the drug addiction in, and kept the brilliant detective skills, but House is surly and acerbic as hell, by turns insightful, abrasive and funny.
One thing that bothered me is that almost every wide establishing shot looks like it has a CGI matte painting, which means that even though they filmed on the streets of England, the obvious computer work makes it look phony. The average episode of Dr. Who, with a fraction of the budget, feels more authentic! The other thing they did in this reinvention is make Holmes an action hero, and that means action set pieces that are largely augmented by CGI as most of today's action "spectaculars" are wont. It also means the action is largely forgettable. There is a major sequence set at a shipyards with a ship in drydock. Holmes is being attacked by a giant thug who keeps swinging a big hammer that dislodges the beams that are holding a ship in place. Of course enough are knocked out that the ship starts to slowly roll into the water, with Holmes pinned at a precarious spot. While watching this I kept thinking about the great scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark with Indy fighting off the giant Nazi under the flying wing airplane. Not only did Indy have to dodge the man's massive fists, but he had to avoid getting run over by the plane's wheels, and, even worse, getting chopped up by the plane's propellers. It was a master work of choreography and editing, punctuated by John Williams' fantastic score. In Sherlock Holmes, we just got to see the big CGI ship slide on by, and Downey and Watson duck to avoid the CGI anchor that whipped by at the end. Big freakin' deal.
There is nothing to recommend in this movie. The casting is all wrong. Aside from Downey and Law, Rachel McAdams makes no impression as Irene Adler, the only woman to make Holmes go weak in the knees. Emily Blunt would have been a better choice. Mark Strong as the Big Bad named Lord Blackwood makes about as much impression as one of the lesser James Bond villains. They gave him some funky dental work and I guess they figured that was a far as they needed to go; he really doesn't register on screen. In fact, the most lively characters are Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) and Constable Clark (William Houston). Hey, there's an idea: do a Sherlock Holmes story told entirely from Lestrade's point of view.
There have been some great interpretations of Sherlock Holmes, including Nicholas Meyer's The Seven Percent Solution and Jeremy Brett's arguably definitive turn in 1980s and 90s TV series. Guy Ritchie's re-imagination take doesn't hold a candle to these interpretations and won't be fondly remembered in the character's long history.
Sherlock Holmes is a staple of filmed entertainment. A quick look at IMDb.com shows that in the 2000s alone there have been nearly 20 productions for TV and the movies featuring Arthur Conan Doyle's venerable detective (including at least one animated appearance).
Now some boob in movieland had the "brilliant" idea to turn Sherlock Holmes into a superhero or, more to the point, a slovenly James Bond. (I hope you read the sarcasm in between the quotation marks on brilliant.)
Here we get director Guy Ritchie's bloated big-screen mess. This is one slow slog of a movie, one where you either constantly check your watch or, in this case, the DVD counter. Robert Downey Jr. dons the English accent he first used in Chaplin as Holmes, but I didn't care much for his characterization. For today's PG-13 audiences, they removed Holmes' heroin addiction for the more palatable alcoholism and just general bad hygiene. Downey's eyes are normally full of life - check out the first Iron Man film, or The Soloist - but here they seem dead. At least they match the bleak cinematography and set design of the rest of the movie.
Instead of a real personality, the movie turns Holmes into either Batman or Daredevil, both comic book superheroes who have no superhuman powers but are masters of hand-to-hand combat. Downey's Holmes likes to go down to the docks and have a go at smelly greasers who are much bigger than he is. Like Fast Eddie Felson he comes in as an underdog, bets on himself, gets knocked around a bit, then kicks it into high gear to win at the end.
Jude Law plays Dr. John Watson, Holmes friend, sidekick, flatmate, and sometime chronicler. I'm just going to say it: Law is simply too pretty to play the sidekick. He was Gigalo Joe after all. The filmmakers were definitely shooting for that "old married couple" vibe, but the script largely falls short of that. There's no memorable dialogue to speak of. For such a clever man, Holmes doesn't have many clever things to say. Perhaps they should have had David Mamet, Quentin Tarantino or, heck, Kevin Smith take a pass at Holmes' dialogue. If you're going to "reinvent" a 113 year old character, do more than make him a MMA stud. When you think about it, the best interpretation of Sherlock Holmes in the last ten years has been Hugh Laurie's turn as Dr. House on TV's House, M.D. There they left the drug addiction in, and kept the brilliant detective skills, but House is surly and acerbic as hell, by turns insightful, abrasive and funny.
One thing that bothered me is that almost every wide establishing shot looks like it has a CGI matte painting, which means that even though they filmed on the streets of England, the obvious computer work makes it look phony. The average episode of Dr. Who, with a fraction of the budget, feels more authentic! The other thing they did in this reinvention is make Holmes an action hero, and that means action set pieces that are largely augmented by CGI as most of today's action "spectaculars" are wont. It also means the action is largely forgettable. There is a major sequence set at a shipyards with a ship in drydock. Holmes is being attacked by a giant thug who keeps swinging a big hammer that dislodges the beams that are holding a ship in place. Of course enough are knocked out that the ship starts to slowly roll into the water, with Holmes pinned at a precarious spot. While watching this I kept thinking about the great scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark with Indy fighting off the giant Nazi under the flying wing airplane. Not only did Indy have to dodge the man's massive fists, but he had to avoid getting run over by the plane's wheels, and, even worse, getting chopped up by the plane's propellers. It was a master work of choreography and editing, punctuated by John Williams' fantastic score. In Sherlock Holmes, we just got to see the big CGI ship slide on by, and Downey and Watson duck to avoid the CGI anchor that whipped by at the end. Big freakin' deal.
There is nothing to recommend in this movie. The casting is all wrong. Aside from Downey and Law, Rachel McAdams makes no impression as Irene Adler, the only woman to make Holmes go weak in the knees. Emily Blunt would have been a better choice. Mark Strong as the Big Bad named Lord Blackwood makes about as much impression as one of the lesser James Bond villains. They gave him some funky dental work and I guess they figured that was a far as they needed to go; he really doesn't register on screen. In fact, the most lively characters are Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) and Constable Clark (William Houston). Hey, there's an idea: do a Sherlock Holmes story told entirely from Lestrade's point of view.
There have been some great interpretations of Sherlock Holmes, including Nicholas Meyer's The Seven Percent Solution and Jeremy Brett's arguably definitive turn in 1980s and 90s TV series. Guy Ritchie's re-imagination take doesn't hold a candle to these interpretations and won't be fondly remembered in the character's long history.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Review: Outlander
Outlander (2008)
Outlander is the “Vikings versus alien monster” flick that pretty much no one asked for (except that one guy in Oslo). Screenwriters Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain (the latter also directed) were happy to oblige that narrow demographic.
The Passion of the Christ's Jim Caviezel plays Kainan, a humanoid alien whose spaceship crash-lands in Norway in the 8th century. Not only does he land in the middle of a feud between two Viking villages, but Kainan also brought with him the Moorwen, a sort of glow-in-the-dark steroidal panther-monster-thing that’s about the size of a dump truck. The Moorwen starts hacking, slashing and eating the villagers on both sides, so they band together and with Kainan’s help attempt to vanquish this dragon come to life.
To say this is a goofy movie is a bit of an understatement. Caviezel is extremely stoic as Kainan, and that works. He makes a convincing action hero, haunted by his personal loss and the horror that he’s unleashed on the Vikes. However, the Vikings are the least Nordic ever assembled on screen; I don’t think I saw one blond warrior in the scruffy, dirty bunch (the little feral kid doesn't count). This was a relatively low-budget effort (at $50 million) but the costume design didn’t seem to reflect the Norse setting at all. Everyone looked like they wore almost generic early-Middle Ages garb; the costumes looked better than a Xena episode, but I just wish they reflected that Nordic verisimilitude more.
Sophia Myles plays Freya, daughter of King Rothgar (John Hurt) and the girl with her eyes on Kainan. We first meet her as she’s doing sword training with her pops. I have to say I’m now Officially Sick of the revisionist bent of movies like this where they have the plucky woman who can wield a sword as well as a man. Unless it’s a race of Amazons I don’t want to see this anymore. There was no reason to have her be a champion sword fighter, except for the one scene where she defends herself during the rival village’s attack. Filmmakers often say they strive for realism, especially with the look and costuming of a movie, but then they turn around and put in T2’s Sarah Conner in a medieval tunic. Enough I say.
The Moorwen, designed by Patrick Tatopoulis, looks exactly like what it is: a CGI creation. It often seems pasted onto scenes rather than being truly integrated with the surroundings. The filmmakers appear to have taken a page from the Id monster in Forbidden Planet; the Moorwen isn’t invisible, but it slowly appears in the darkness when it lights up various parts of itself with its luminescent abilities. Like 99.9% of CGI creatures it moves much too fast and doesn't appear to be affected by gravity, which is a major problem with many CGI creations. Hey, animators, watch footage of a cheetah or cobra in action and use that as reference. Then again, Ridley Scott's Alien didn't move as fast as the Moorwen (it was a skinny guy in a rubber suit) and it is one of the most memorable movie monsters of all time, while the more complex Moorwen with its CGI bells and glow in the dark whistles will simply fade from memory. Something to think about filmmakers!
Director McCain does the de rigueur thing of overcutting his action scenes. A simple punch to the face will have at least FOUR cuts: 1. the guy pulls back his fist, 2. the guy’s fist is launched at the other dude, 3. the guy’s fist connects with the dude’s face, and we 4. see the full impact to the face from the opposite angle. Watch the opening of the first Blade movie – the fight scene at the vampire rave is one of the BEST fight scenes ever committed to celluloid. Not only is the fight choreography well done, but it wasn’t shot with a multitude of tight close-ups, which meant you could SEE the fight stances (imagine a Fred Astaire movie where you could only see him dance from the waist up!), and it was edited in such a way as you could FOLLOW the action (the fight scenes weren’t comprised of ¼ second clips, as in so much of today’s video games-as-action movies).
I’ll give Outlander this, they tried. They assembled a good group of actors who played their parts well. I liked that they gave time to Kainan and the Vikings to get to know each other and bond. It was by no means a character-based movie, but it wasn’t just mindless action either. The production also makes good use of stunning locations in Nova Scotia and Newfoundland, with several of the aerial shots of mountains and rivers rivaling the best locations in New Zealand seen in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
One rather big nit to pick is that they really didn't do anything with the fact that Kainan is an alien. It didn't matter to the story that he fell from the stars. He wasn't viewed as a god by anyone; he could easily have been a member of a far off village which had been decimated by the Moorwen, and has been tracking the beast ever since. At the very least they could have had him wear his alien armor for much of the movie, but in the climactic battle change into Viking garb to signal his full allegiance with his Norse family. Also the movie couldn't seem to make up its mind whether the Moorwen was just a beast, like a lion, or an intelligent creature with a grudge against Kainan (and he it). I mean why else would Kainan yell out, "Moorwen!" whenever he saw the thing. Big game hunters don't scream out "Lion!" when they see their prey. Does the Moorwen KNOW it's a Moorwen?
I wasn’t bored during Outlander, which is the cardinal sin of movie-watching, but with another draft or two of the script, and some memorable dialogue and scenes, I might have cared more.
Outlander is the “Vikings versus alien monster” flick that pretty much no one asked for (except that one guy in Oslo). Screenwriters Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain (the latter also directed) were happy to oblige that narrow demographic.
The Passion of the Christ's Jim Caviezel plays Kainan, a humanoid alien whose spaceship crash-lands in Norway in the 8th century. Not only does he land in the middle of a feud between two Viking villages, but Kainan also brought with him the Moorwen, a sort of glow-in-the-dark steroidal panther-monster-thing that’s about the size of a dump truck. The Moorwen starts hacking, slashing and eating the villagers on both sides, so they band together and with Kainan’s help attempt to vanquish this dragon come to life.
To say this is a goofy movie is a bit of an understatement. Caviezel is extremely stoic as Kainan, and that works. He makes a convincing action hero, haunted by his personal loss and the horror that he’s unleashed on the Vikes. However, the Vikings are the least Nordic ever assembled on screen; I don’t think I saw one blond warrior in the scruffy, dirty bunch (the little feral kid doesn't count). This was a relatively low-budget effort (at $50 million) but the costume design didn’t seem to reflect the Norse setting at all. Everyone looked like they wore almost generic early-Middle Ages garb; the costumes looked better than a Xena episode, but I just wish they reflected that Nordic verisimilitude more.
Sophia Myles plays Freya, daughter of King Rothgar (John Hurt) and the girl with her eyes on Kainan. We first meet her as she’s doing sword training with her pops. I have to say I’m now Officially Sick of the revisionist bent of movies like this where they have the plucky woman who can wield a sword as well as a man. Unless it’s a race of Amazons I don’t want to see this anymore. There was no reason to have her be a champion sword fighter, except for the one scene where she defends herself during the rival village’s attack. Filmmakers often say they strive for realism, especially with the look and costuming of a movie, but then they turn around and put in T2’s Sarah Conner in a medieval tunic. Enough I say.
The Moorwen, designed by Patrick Tatopoulis, looks exactly like what it is: a CGI creation. It often seems pasted onto scenes rather than being truly integrated with the surroundings. The filmmakers appear to have taken a page from the Id monster in Forbidden Planet; the Moorwen isn’t invisible, but it slowly appears in the darkness when it lights up various parts of itself with its luminescent abilities. Like 99.9% of CGI creatures it moves much too fast and doesn't appear to be affected by gravity, which is a major problem with many CGI creations. Hey, animators, watch footage of a cheetah or cobra in action and use that as reference. Then again, Ridley Scott's Alien didn't move as fast as the Moorwen (it was a skinny guy in a rubber suit) and it is one of the most memorable movie monsters of all time, while the more complex Moorwen with its CGI bells and glow in the dark whistles will simply fade from memory. Something to think about filmmakers!
Director McCain does the de rigueur thing of overcutting his action scenes. A simple punch to the face will have at least FOUR cuts: 1. the guy pulls back his fist, 2. the guy’s fist is launched at the other dude, 3. the guy’s fist connects with the dude’s face, and we 4. see the full impact to the face from the opposite angle. Watch the opening of the first Blade movie – the fight scene at the vampire rave is one of the BEST fight scenes ever committed to celluloid. Not only is the fight choreography well done, but it wasn’t shot with a multitude of tight close-ups, which meant you could SEE the fight stances (imagine a Fred Astaire movie where you could only see him dance from the waist up!), and it was edited in such a way as you could FOLLOW the action (the fight scenes weren’t comprised of ¼ second clips, as in so much of today’s video games-as-action movies).
I’ll give Outlander this, they tried. They assembled a good group of actors who played their parts well. I liked that they gave time to Kainan and the Vikings to get to know each other and bond. It was by no means a character-based movie, but it wasn’t just mindless action either. The production also makes good use of stunning locations in Nova Scotia and Newfoundland, with several of the aerial shots of mountains and rivers rivaling the best locations in New Zealand seen in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
One rather big nit to pick is that they really didn't do anything with the fact that Kainan is an alien. It didn't matter to the story that he fell from the stars. He wasn't viewed as a god by anyone; he could easily have been a member of a far off village which had been decimated by the Moorwen, and has been tracking the beast ever since. At the very least they could have had him wear his alien armor for much of the movie, but in the climactic battle change into Viking garb to signal his full allegiance with his Norse family. Also the movie couldn't seem to make up its mind whether the Moorwen was just a beast, like a lion, or an intelligent creature with a grudge against Kainan (and he it). I mean why else would Kainan yell out, "Moorwen!" whenever he saw the thing. Big game hunters don't scream out "Lion!" when they see their prey. Does the Moorwen KNOW it's a Moorwen?
I wasn’t bored during Outlander, which is the cardinal sin of movie-watching, but with another draft or two of the script, and some memorable dialogue and scenes, I might have cared more.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Happy Memorial Day Weekend
Star Trek (C) 2010 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios, Inc. Weber Grill (C) 2010 Weber-Stephen Products Co. No infringement of these rights is intended. Screencap from Trekcore.com.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
On the Matter of Iron Man Sequels
Video Hound's Movie Retriever.com has a new post about what it wants to see in Iron Man 3.
Even though IM2 opened strong it hasn't equaled, let alone surpassed, the domestic gross of the original film. I believe audiences caught on that IM2 had too many problems: too many villains (WHEN will comic book movies LEARN!? Most of the filmmakers are comic book fans and have SEEN the good movies, and the BAD ones too!), too many unnecessary characters, the most flaccid love story of any comic book movie (WHAT were they thinking), and dull action scenes. Robert Downey Jr.'s considerable talents, charm and charisma carried the movie.
I agree with everything that VHMR's post brings up. There's nothing you can debate there that isn't a correct way to go.
I just hope IM2's filmmakers and studio are aware of the franchise's failings, and make the necessary course corrections.
Even though IM2 opened strong it hasn't equaled, let alone surpassed, the domestic gross of the original film. I believe audiences caught on that IM2 had too many problems: too many villains (WHEN will comic book movies LEARN!? Most of the filmmakers are comic book fans and have SEEN the good movies, and the BAD ones too!), too many unnecessary characters, the most flaccid love story of any comic book movie (WHAT were they thinking), and dull action scenes. Robert Downey Jr.'s considerable talents, charm and charisma carried the movie.
I agree with everything that VHMR's post brings up. There's nothing you can debate there that isn't a correct way to go.
I just hope IM2's filmmakers and studio are aware of the franchise's failings, and make the necessary course corrections.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Adventures in the Other Side of the Mirror - Fringe
Fringe – “Over There” - Parts 1 & 2
SPOILERS
Peter Bishop has crossed over into the alternate universe, brought there by his real father (labeled “Walternate” by our Walter) who is the Secretary of Defense in a world fraught with nasty and destructive “science gone wrong” events which puts to shame “the Pattern” of our universe. Walternate seeks Peter’s help with a special device. Olivia Dunham and Dr. Walter Bishop also cross over and attempt to bring Peter back home to his adoptive universe.
For a season finale, this two-parter felt incomplete; it seemed more interested in setting up events for season three than with giving viewers a satisfying coda to this season’s storylines. Just a few episodes ago, Peter (Joshua Jackson) learned his true origins: he was kidnapped as a child from the alternate dimension, Walter is not his true father and his real mother on the other side is still alive, and not a suicide victim as in our universe. We get a few glimpses of Peter as he meets with his real father and mother, but we don’t get to know what he’s feeling. Has he seen so much weirdness while part of Fringe Division that he just takes all this in stride? He never seems overwhelmed or at least confused a little by it all. Shouldn’t he be?
We do see Walter’s reaction to losing his son to his own misguided actions, and actor John Noble once again gives an award-winning performance, so that side of the equation is handled well. I believe Joshua Jackson could deliver the goods if the writers and director Akiva Goldsman gave him the opportunity.
We see a lot of the alternate universe and for all its technological wonders and advancements over our world it’s a sad place (the neighborhood encased in amber is amazing and scary and sad). Their Fringe Division seems more a paramilitary organization than our world’s unit of the FBI. To tell the truth though, when we’re first introduced to Alt-Fringe Division early in part one, they were a little too gung ho – it reminded me of Special Unit 2 or some goofy other X-Files knock off – strutting around in their dark commando jumpsuits. I wanted to dub in the “hut-hut-hut-hut” from the cop scenes in The Blues Brothers movie.
Olivia meets up with William Bell (Leonard Nimoy, not aging as gracefully as buddy Bill Shatner) who helps her and Walter find Peter and get back to our universe. The scenes between Bell and Walter were alternately fun (the KFC scene) and moving (“(Bell) cut out pieces of my brain!”). I wish Nimoy wasn’t in such a rush to retire from acting again. If William Bell is truly his last acting gig then he could have gone out on a high note in a memorable role, instead of just an inflated cameo.
MAJOR SPOILERS
Olivia gets to meet Alt-Oliva (who’s a brunette) and the two have a great scene where they compare their lives: Olivia’s mom died but she has her sister Rachel and niece Ella, while Alt-Olivia still has her mom, but her sister died in childbirth. Anna Torv showed she’s a very capable actress in this scene, with extremely expressive eyes. The Olivias have a nice knockdown, dragout fight with our Olivia emerging victorious (just barely).
She impersonates her alt-self, and with Alt-Charlie’s (Kirk Acevedo) help locates Peter. Olivia convinces Peter to come back to our universe because "you belong with me," and she kisses him. I don’t know how I feel about this angle. The X-Files’ Mulder and Scully definitely had a romantic chemistry, which the show ultimately followed, but I never got that vibe from Olivia and Peter (not even from Peter and Liv’s sister Rachel). They're partners and friends, but lovers?, that spark was never there.
It all ends with Bell apparently sacrificing himself as a “door stop” (since he’s crossed universes so many times his atoms are all wonky and supercharged) to aid Olivia as she uses her cortixiphan abilities to open the door between worlds to allow the gang to go home. Peter and Walter begin a new phase of their relationship, with Peter seeming to forgive Walter’s extra-dimensional kidnapping. But we see that it’s not our Olivia but Alt-Olivia who made the crossover, as she uses the old typewriter with the mirror to contact the alternate universe: “Infiltration complete. Awaiting orders.” Our Olivia has been taken hostage by Walternate and is held in a lightless cell (she’s extremely unhappy with that, so perhaps Olivia is afraid of the dark?).
But that brings up a major question: we know our Olivia was tested and treated with the drug cortexiphan by Bell and Bishop, that’s how she’s able to open the doorway between universes. Has Alt-Olivia also been given the same drug treatments, which allowed her to easily open the doorway?
The Olivia switch was obvious to even a blind man. It wasn’t even presented as a shocker. They didn't have the obligatory scene of Alt-Olivia bluffing her way through interactions with her fellow Fringe mates before we find out a switcheroo has been made.
Not as frustrating a last couple episodes as the series Lost has been having, but a not wholly satisfying season-ender either. Still, Fringe has great out of this world (universe) sci-fi concepts and ideas and an amazing cast of actors and characters. I look forward to season three this fall.
SPOILERS
Peter Bishop has crossed over into the alternate universe, brought there by his real father (labeled “Walternate” by our Walter) who is the Secretary of Defense in a world fraught with nasty and destructive “science gone wrong” events which puts to shame “the Pattern” of our universe. Walternate seeks Peter’s help with a special device. Olivia Dunham and Dr. Walter Bishop also cross over and attempt to bring Peter back home to his adoptive universe.
For a season finale, this two-parter felt incomplete; it seemed more interested in setting up events for season three than with giving viewers a satisfying coda to this season’s storylines. Just a few episodes ago, Peter (Joshua Jackson) learned his true origins: he was kidnapped as a child from the alternate dimension, Walter is not his true father and his real mother on the other side is still alive, and not a suicide victim as in our universe. We get a few glimpses of Peter as he meets with his real father and mother, but we don’t get to know what he’s feeling. Has he seen so much weirdness while part of Fringe Division that he just takes all this in stride? He never seems overwhelmed or at least confused a little by it all. Shouldn’t he be?
We do see Walter’s reaction to losing his son to his own misguided actions, and actor John Noble once again gives an award-winning performance, so that side of the equation is handled well. I believe Joshua Jackson could deliver the goods if the writers and director Akiva Goldsman gave him the opportunity.
We see a lot of the alternate universe and for all its technological wonders and advancements over our world it’s a sad place (the neighborhood encased in amber is amazing and scary and sad). Their Fringe Division seems more a paramilitary organization than our world’s unit of the FBI. To tell the truth though, when we’re first introduced to Alt-Fringe Division early in part one, they were a little too gung ho – it reminded me of Special Unit 2 or some goofy other X-Files knock off – strutting around in their dark commando jumpsuits. I wanted to dub in the “hut-hut-hut-hut” from the cop scenes in The Blues Brothers movie.
Olivia meets up with William Bell (Leonard Nimoy, not aging as gracefully as buddy Bill Shatner) who helps her and Walter find Peter and get back to our universe. The scenes between Bell and Walter were alternately fun (the KFC scene) and moving (“(Bell) cut out pieces of my brain!”). I wish Nimoy wasn’t in such a rush to retire from acting again. If William Bell is truly his last acting gig then he could have gone out on a high note in a memorable role, instead of just an inflated cameo.
MAJOR SPOILERS
Olivia gets to meet Alt-Oliva (who’s a brunette) and the two have a great scene where they compare their lives: Olivia’s mom died but she has her sister Rachel and niece Ella, while Alt-Olivia still has her mom, but her sister died in childbirth. Anna Torv showed she’s a very capable actress in this scene, with extremely expressive eyes. The Olivias have a nice knockdown, dragout fight with our Olivia emerging victorious (just barely).
She impersonates her alt-self, and with Alt-Charlie’s (Kirk Acevedo) help locates Peter. Olivia convinces Peter to come back to our universe because "you belong with me," and she kisses him. I don’t know how I feel about this angle. The X-Files’ Mulder and Scully definitely had a romantic chemistry, which the show ultimately followed, but I never got that vibe from Olivia and Peter (not even from Peter and Liv’s sister Rachel). They're partners and friends, but lovers?, that spark was never there.
It all ends with Bell apparently sacrificing himself as a “door stop” (since he’s crossed universes so many times his atoms are all wonky and supercharged) to aid Olivia as she uses her cortixiphan abilities to open the door between worlds to allow the gang to go home. Peter and Walter begin a new phase of their relationship, with Peter seeming to forgive Walter’s extra-dimensional kidnapping. But we see that it’s not our Olivia but Alt-Olivia who made the crossover, as she uses the old typewriter with the mirror to contact the alternate universe: “Infiltration complete. Awaiting orders.” Our Olivia has been taken hostage by Walternate and is held in a lightless cell (she’s extremely unhappy with that, so perhaps Olivia is afraid of the dark?).
But that brings up a major question: we know our Olivia was tested and treated with the drug cortexiphan by Bell and Bishop, that’s how she’s able to open the doorway between universes. Has Alt-Olivia also been given the same drug treatments, which allowed her to easily open the doorway?
The Olivia switch was obvious to even a blind man. It wasn’t even presented as a shocker. They didn't have the obligatory scene of Alt-Olivia bluffing her way through interactions with her fellow Fringe mates before we find out a switcheroo has been made.
Not as frustrating a last couple episodes as the series Lost has been having, but a not wholly satisfying season-ender either. Still, Fringe has great out of this world (universe) sci-fi concepts and ideas and an amazing cast of actors and characters. I look forward to season three this fall.
1950s Empire Strikes Back
This month marks the 30th anniversary of one of the greatest sci-fi movies (and sequels) of all time: The Empire Strikes Back.
SciFiSignal.com has this awesome vid posted that answers the question, What Would The Empire Strikes Back Look Like If It Were Done In The 1950s?
I don't know how many movies they had to sift through to assemble all these clips, but they look like a lot of fun on their own (and certainly more fun than the Prequel Trilogy).
Now I've got a hankering to watch some old Flash Gordon serials, which, as all you Star Wars fans know, were a huge inspiration on the SW Saga. Perhaps that's what today's filmmakers need to do, go BACK to the roots of classic sci-fi for inspiration instead of just looking to video games. It worked pretty well for George Lucas.
SciFiSignal.com has this awesome vid posted that answers the question, What Would The Empire Strikes Back Look Like If It Were Done In The 1950s?
I don't know how many movies they had to sift through to assemble all these clips, but they look like a lot of fun on their own (and certainly more fun than the Prequel Trilogy).
Now I've got a hankering to watch some old Flash Gordon serials, which, as all you Star Wars fans know, were a huge inspiration on the SW Saga. Perhaps that's what today's filmmakers need to do, go BACK to the roots of classic sci-fi for inspiration instead of just looking to video games. It worked pretty well for George Lucas.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Looks at Lost
There's a post at TV Squad that is sort of a nexus for various links regarding Lost.
Regular readers of this blog know that I have not been digging this final season much. Every episode seems inconsequential and barely moves the story forward (also, they take forever to keep walking back and forth and back and forth between the same points on the island. IT'S. AN. ISLAND! It's not that big). We had two episodes that centered on characters that are not part of the original ensemble (one focused on Richard, who was ignominiously killed in the latest episode, and one focused on Jacob and his Nameless Brother (the Man in Black).
On Sunday the series wraps up with a 2-1/2 hour last episode. I hope it gets more than the shrug that most episodes this season have generated.
And people thought Heroes went into the toilet after its first season.....
Regular readers of this blog know that I have not been digging this final season much. Every episode seems inconsequential and barely moves the story forward (also, they take forever to keep walking back and forth and back and forth between the same points on the island. IT'S. AN. ISLAND! It's not that big). We had two episodes that centered on characters that are not part of the original ensemble (one focused on Richard, who was ignominiously killed in the latest episode, and one focused on Jacob and his Nameless Brother (the Man in Black).
On Sunday the series wraps up with a 2-1/2 hour last episode. I hope it gets more than the shrug that most episodes this season have generated.
And people thought Heroes went into the toilet after its first season.....
Monday, May 10, 2010
Frank Frazetta Passes Away
I just read on io9.com that legendary fantasy/sci-fi illustrator Frank Frazetta passed away today. He was 82.
Mr. Frazetta's work is instantly recognizable, whether it be barbarians, beasts, or spacemen. "Death Dealer" is just one such work. He painted book covers for such Edgar Rice Burroughs works as Tarzan and the John Carter of Mars series. He also did work for the influential and beloved magazines Creepy and Eerie in the 1960s and 70s; his work was also featured in comic books, posters and album covers. In 1983, he teamed with famed animation director Ralph Bakshi for the feature film Fire and Ice, which became a cult classic and was finally released on DVD in 2005.
Mr. Frazetta was one of the last of the classic painters and illustrators - no Photoshop used on his work. Even though Fire and Ice didn't set the box office ablaze, I hope today's filmmakers and studios continue to look at his work for inspiration. And with today's CGI technology it would be possible to make an animated movie in Mr. Frazetta's distinctive style and color palette.
Imagine the possibilities! Mr. Frazetta always did.
Mr. Frazetta's work is instantly recognizable, whether it be barbarians, beasts, or spacemen. "Death Dealer" is just one such work. He painted book covers for such Edgar Rice Burroughs works as Tarzan and the John Carter of Mars series. He also did work for the influential and beloved magazines Creepy and Eerie in the 1960s and 70s; his work was also featured in comic books, posters and album covers. In 1983, he teamed with famed animation director Ralph Bakshi for the feature film Fire and Ice, which became a cult classic and was finally released on DVD in 2005.
Mr. Frazetta was one of the last of the classic painters and illustrators - no Photoshop used on his work. Even though Fire and Ice didn't set the box office ablaze, I hope today's filmmakers and studios continue to look at his work for inspiration. And with today's CGI technology it would be possible to make an animated movie in Mr. Frazetta's distinctive style and color palette.
Imagine the possibilities! Mr. Frazetta always did.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Tarnished Armor - Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Spoilers!
Tony Stark has a lot of problems. The United States Government wants him to turn over his Iron Man technology to it. A rival, Justin Hammer, wants to take over Stark Industries’ slot as America’s top arms supplier. And a Russian ex-con has his sights, and electronic whips, set on removing Stark’s head from his body to avenge his father’s honor. All this and Tony still has the hots for his Number One, Pepper Potts, even as his eyes pop out of his head over his company’s newest notary public. Oh, and he’s dying too.
As you can see there’s a lot going on in Iron Man 2, but here’s the problem (and it’s a big one): it’s not very interesting. All the pieces are there, but you never really care. Gary Shandling is goofy U.S. Senator Stern who demands that Stark turn over his tech to the government, but you never see the government try and take it from him. Stern’s not even shaking a fist, more like wagging a finger; it feels like an empty threat, so what’s the point?
Sam Rockwell plays Hammer with a sort of fast-talking Luke Wilson meets Gary Oldman vibe. He even seems to channel game show host Chuck Barris, whom he played in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, when he presents his wares at an arms expo by dancing and strutting around the stage. He’s more impressive than the last few James Bond villains, but that’s damning him with faint praise. The problem is that Robert Downey Jr. is so commanding on screen, and his Tony Stark is such a larger-than-life character (especially in this sequel), that you need an actor and a character that can go toe-to-toe with him. Rockwell is an impressive actor, but he’s just not believable as someone who would stand a chance against Stark, as Jeff Bridges did in the first film. Rockwell looks slight of build on screen compared to Downey who shows off his buff physique in “wife-beater” t-shirts.
Mickey Rourke fairs a little better, but, lets face it, Rourke is a bit of a goofball. He was good in Sin City and fantastic in The Wrestler, but he often looks like a boob in this movie, especially when he pins up his long, greasy, streaked hair. Also American actors always sound silly when they do Russian accents; they all sound like Dracula, and Rourke is no exception. Rourke, a big dude in real life who likes little Chihuahua dogs, is given a little cockatiel bird in this movie for no real good reason, other than Rourke, a Method actor, probably asked for it because someone told him Russian ex-cons love cockatiels. I’m just speculating here.
The best part of the first Iron Man was the character interaction, especially between Tony and Pepper, who in this outing is abruptly promoted to company CEO and Chairperson by Stark. Tony does this because the nuclear-powered device which keeps him alive and powers his Iron Man armor is also giving him radiation poisoning; it's slowly killing him, so he promotes Pepper to keep his company going. He, of course, doesn’t tell Pepper that he’s dying. She finds out later but the movie simply plays it for laughs. Instead of creating scenes for Tony and Pepper to play off their mutual attraction and affection for each other – you know, giving them a real relationship - the movie wastes Gwyneth Paltrow’s time by showing her dealing with running the company. That’s the worst kind of story filler. This is a very bad decision, as it makes the kiss they share at the end less eventful and meaningful. In the first film, Tony told Pepper that he has no one close to him that he trusts with his life, save her, and THIS is how they choose to further that relationship? Imagine in Superman: The Movie if they downplayed all the scenes with Superman/Clark Kent and Lois, and all she did was chase after news stories about bank robbers and such, then at the end suddenly Superman and Lois kiss, or if Spider-Man 2 simply had Mary Jane dealing with her acting career and not with Peter and their mutual attraction. If those two movies had done that, they'd have exactly what Iron Man 2 has, which is a poorly written and filmed - and very unsatisfying - love story.
There is also a major problem with the action scenes. Iron Man and War Machine (Stark’s BFF, “Rhodey,” played this time by Don Cheadle) go up against Hammer’s Iron Man drone knockoffs. They’re simply silly robots with no personalities. In the James Bond movies Bond doesn’t merely fend off nameless guards with no personalites, but the top henchmen of the villain - colorful people like Odd Job, Rosa Kleb and Jaws (who worked for equally colorful bosses like Goldfinger, Blofeld, and Carl Stromberg/Hugo Drax, respectively). In IM2, fighting these bots is like fighting a remote controlled car or a toaster. Why should we give a crap?
The tv show Lost had an episode this season where an assassin was hired to kill one of the characters. The actor, Kevin Durand, had a great air about him and a sense of flair as Martin Keamy. He didn’t like it when an associate needlessly roughed up Jin, the intended target; he apologized for the mistreatment and even used his handkerchief to tend to Jin’s head wound. All this care for a man he intends to kill. Keamy was hired to do a certain job, not to muck about before doing it. THAT is what’s missing in opponents for Iron Man. Tony Stark is FULL of character, even when in the Iron Man suit. He needs to fight a foe with just as much character.
They need to get this right for Iron Man 3 - and for the Avengers movie, too - or they will be just run of the mill superhero flicks, another one on the pile, and who needs that?
Spoilers!
Tony Stark has a lot of problems. The United States Government wants him to turn over his Iron Man technology to it. A rival, Justin Hammer, wants to take over Stark Industries’ slot as America’s top arms supplier. And a Russian ex-con has his sights, and electronic whips, set on removing Stark’s head from his body to avenge his father’s honor. All this and Tony still has the hots for his Number One, Pepper Potts, even as his eyes pop out of his head over his company’s newest notary public. Oh, and he’s dying too.
As you can see there’s a lot going on in Iron Man 2, but here’s the problem (and it’s a big one): it’s not very interesting. All the pieces are there, but you never really care. Gary Shandling is goofy U.S. Senator Stern who demands that Stark turn over his tech to the government, but you never see the government try and take it from him. Stern’s not even shaking a fist, more like wagging a finger; it feels like an empty threat, so what’s the point?
Sam Rockwell plays Hammer with a sort of fast-talking Luke Wilson meets Gary Oldman vibe. He even seems to channel game show host Chuck Barris, whom he played in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, when he presents his wares at an arms expo by dancing and strutting around the stage. He’s more impressive than the last few James Bond villains, but that’s damning him with faint praise. The problem is that Robert Downey Jr. is so commanding on screen, and his Tony Stark is such a larger-than-life character (especially in this sequel), that you need an actor and a character that can go toe-to-toe with him. Rockwell is an impressive actor, but he’s just not believable as someone who would stand a chance against Stark, as Jeff Bridges did in the first film. Rockwell looks slight of build on screen compared to Downey who shows off his buff physique in “wife-beater” t-shirts.
Mickey Rourke fairs a little better, but, lets face it, Rourke is a bit of a goofball. He was good in Sin City and fantastic in The Wrestler, but he often looks like a boob in this movie, especially when he pins up his long, greasy, streaked hair. Also American actors always sound silly when they do Russian accents; they all sound like Dracula, and Rourke is no exception. Rourke, a big dude in real life who likes little Chihuahua dogs, is given a little cockatiel bird in this movie for no real good reason, other than Rourke, a Method actor, probably asked for it because someone told him Russian ex-cons love cockatiels. I’m just speculating here.
The best part of the first Iron Man was the character interaction, especially between Tony and Pepper, who in this outing is abruptly promoted to company CEO and Chairperson by Stark. Tony does this because the nuclear-powered device which keeps him alive and powers his Iron Man armor is also giving him radiation poisoning; it's slowly killing him, so he promotes Pepper to keep his company going. He, of course, doesn’t tell Pepper that he’s dying. She finds out later but the movie simply plays it for laughs. Instead of creating scenes for Tony and Pepper to play off their mutual attraction and affection for each other – you know, giving them a real relationship - the movie wastes Gwyneth Paltrow’s time by showing her dealing with running the company. That’s the worst kind of story filler. This is a very bad decision, as it makes the kiss they share at the end less eventful and meaningful. In the first film, Tony told Pepper that he has no one close to him that he trusts with his life, save her, and THIS is how they choose to further that relationship? Imagine in Superman: The Movie if they downplayed all the scenes with Superman/Clark Kent and Lois, and all she did was chase after news stories about bank robbers and such, then at the end suddenly Superman and Lois kiss, or if Spider-Man 2 simply had Mary Jane dealing with her acting career and not with Peter and their mutual attraction. If those two movies had done that, they'd have exactly what Iron Man 2 has, which is a poorly written and filmed - and very unsatisfying - love story.
There is also a major problem with the action scenes. Iron Man and War Machine (Stark’s BFF, “Rhodey,” played this time by Don Cheadle) go up against Hammer’s Iron Man drone knockoffs. They’re simply silly robots with no personalities. In the James Bond movies Bond doesn’t merely fend off nameless guards with no personalites, but the top henchmen of the villain - colorful people like Odd Job, Rosa Kleb and Jaws (who worked for equally colorful bosses like Goldfinger, Blofeld, and Carl Stromberg/Hugo Drax, respectively). In IM2, fighting these bots is like fighting a remote controlled car or a toaster. Why should we give a crap?
The tv show Lost had an episode this season where an assassin was hired to kill one of the characters. The actor, Kevin Durand, had a great air about him and a sense of flair as Martin Keamy. He didn’t like it when an associate needlessly roughed up Jin, the intended target; he apologized for the mistreatment and even used his handkerchief to tend to Jin’s head wound. All this care for a man he intends to kill. Keamy was hired to do a certain job, not to muck about before doing it. THAT is what’s missing in opponents for Iron Man. Tony Stark is FULL of character, even when in the Iron Man suit. He needs to fight a foe with just as much character.
They need to get this right for Iron Man 3 - and for the Avengers movie, too - or they will be just run of the mill superhero flicks, another one on the pile, and who needs that?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Traveling to Hyboria - no passport needed, but bring a sword
There's finally a NEW Conan the Barbarian movie in production, and by Crom it better be good!
I read the Marvel Comics adaptation of the Conan tales while a wee spaceman (I never read the actual Robert E. Howard pulp novels, but someday....) and I loved the first Arnold Schwarzenegger movie directed with gusto by John Milius (and co-scripted by future-Oscar winner Oliver Stone!). Arnold eclipsed all other strongmen before him in tackling the role of the Cimmerian. He LOOKED like a John Buscema-drawn muscle-bound barbarian.
Production designer Ron Cobb also did a wonderful job in creating the fantasy world of Hyboria. Hyboria like the more well known Tolkien Middle Earth is set in our pre-historic past, and Cobb and his team brought a myriad of influences to the table in setting up Conan's world (and shooting in Spain helped too, as the Spanish landscape hadn't been photographed to death). And it worked.
Now we have a new movie in production with a new Conan, Stargate Atlantis' Jason Momoa (an inspired choice). Here's a few set pics from Bulgaria courtesy of QuietEarth.us.
Let's hope director Marcus Nispel - a veteran of music vids and commercials and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake - is fully immersed in the amazing world of Conan, and delivers a rowdy, bawdy, muscular action adventure movie. Conan the Barbarian deserves no less, by Crom!
I read the Marvel Comics adaptation of the Conan tales while a wee spaceman (I never read the actual Robert E. Howard pulp novels, but someday....) and I loved the first Arnold Schwarzenegger movie directed with gusto by John Milius (and co-scripted by future-Oscar winner Oliver Stone!). Arnold eclipsed all other strongmen before him in tackling the role of the Cimmerian. He LOOKED like a John Buscema-drawn muscle-bound barbarian.
Production designer Ron Cobb also did a wonderful job in creating the fantasy world of Hyboria. Hyboria like the more well known Tolkien Middle Earth is set in our pre-historic past, and Cobb and his team brought a myriad of influences to the table in setting up Conan's world (and shooting in Spain helped too, as the Spanish landscape hadn't been photographed to death). And it worked.
Now we have a new movie in production with a new Conan, Stargate Atlantis' Jason Momoa (an inspired choice). Here's a few set pics from Bulgaria courtesy of QuietEarth.us.
Let's hope director Marcus Nispel - a veteran of music vids and commercials and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake - is fully immersed in the amazing world of Conan, and delivers a rowdy, bawdy, muscular action adventure movie. Conan the Barbarian deserves no less, by Crom!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Skate Punks of the Desert
Solarbabies (1986)
You don’t review a movie like Solarbabies, you simply tolerate it until the end credits roll.
“A Brooksfilm Production” -- Mel Brooks produced this dreck!
This movie wastes no time in assaulting its audience with a lousy Maurice Jarre Casio score (it truly sounds like the theme was done on one of those cheap keyboards you can buy at Target).
We get one of those lame voiceover prologues that explain the “year is 41…Earth is dried up…kids are raised in “orphanages” run by the State…and some say Bodhi will come from the stars* to save us…maybe not.” Charles Durning, our prologue provider, actually says “maybe not.” Way to inspire the audience, movie!
* In this movie, Jesus is a glowing ball. Ooooo.
I had forgotten Solarbabies involved rollerskating. Did Mel Brooks watch the brutal Rollerball one night and think, “We should do a new version of this idea, but using the young kids today.” Rollerskating movies should be outlawed, especially sci-fi rollerskating movies. Rollerskating movies should only be set in the 1970s and made with hot chicks wearing tight t-shirts and short shorts. They should not be made with Jason Patric and Lukas Haas (and Jami Gertz doesn’t even wear short shorts).
I bring up the rollerskating thing because this stupid movie launches into one right away. Jason Patric (WHY does he have a career?) leads his intrepid band of goofballs in a very dull rollerskating skirmish against a Darth Vader-esque team lead by a dude who looks like James Van der Beek from Dawson’s Creek. This very boring “match” is interrupted by laser bolts and Richard Jordan who is strutting around in a thick-plastic blue SS-type uniform (Nazi fashions are always in style in water-desperate times). He’s behind the Dawson’s Creek team and he sics the Mad Max Brigade on the kids to break up these good times.
Lukas Haas and his ears find a glowing melon-sized ball in a mine cave and it magically cures his deafness. This is Bodhi (Bo-die). Despite its magic powers, it doesn’t make you want to straggle Haas any less (Lukas was great in Witness but he’s just TOO cute here).
Lukas has as much junk and shit on his shelves as WALL-E did.
Richard Jordan has jodhpurs AND a riding crop AND a long white scarf. Good grief.
All the young dudes in this movie have the same MASSIVE chin. Was there a sale or something?
Bodhi just magically caused it to rain…INDOORS. Now the hangar doors open and all the kids do an “all skate” for recreation. All that missing is the disco ball and a corner arcade with Pong and the one older dude selling pot. James Van der Mullet is a huge asshole, picking on little Lukas and licking on Jamie Gertz. Even in the future, mulleted dudes are creeps.
Bodhi seems to be a combination of Yoda, all wise and knowing, AND Jar Jar Binks, all cutesy and goofy. George Lucas is green with envy.
WHY is one guy named METRON? Aside from the fact one of the screenwriters must be a fan of Jack Kirby’s The New Gods. Now they’re playing rollerhockey or whatever, using Bodhi as the ball. The thing LIKES being smacked around and dunked. It’s into S&M.
Meanwhile Owlboy is watching….AND HE’S AN ORB THIEF!
Lukas has run away to find Bodhi and the gang votes to go after him (the scene where they write their votes on paper was CRUCIAL to the movie’s story). Good thing the desert is so well-paved for rollerskating. Jamie Gertz has legs as skinny as a Barbie doll’s. This is not a good thing, but it does not make her any less hot.
The crappy generic 80s song over the skating in the desert montage was mercifully brief. I’m sorry but they COULD NOT jump over that huge gap in the road. Not on roller skates, movie, and not without a huge ramp.
Suddenly, the fashions look more like Beastmaster than Mad Max.
Owlboy calls himself “Darkstar.” What a turd. But he has my favorite line of the movie. When asked, “Is that owl yours” he replies, “As much as an owl is anyone’s.” Heavy.
They just lasered Beastmaster tribe leader Bob Geldof! James Van der Chin just shot Darkstar’s owl with a laser. Big brother Woodsy Owl will avenge the shit out of him now.
Now Richard Jordan’s caravan is rolling up on Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s place. Holy crap, Bob Geldof is being tortured by psychic fire ants! OMG, but that was needlessly graphic (Van der Chin was made to imagine his hand being eaten away by the fire ants. VERY convincing effect.)
This must have been one expensive movie, with all the massive interior sets and places like Tire Town (which looks like it’s just down the way from Aunty Entity’s Bartertown), Richard Edlund’s visual effects and all the special vehicles. Too bad it’s all in service to such a stupid story.
Roll yourself down the hill in a dump truck tire to escape Richard Jordan! What a great idea!
Dear lord, there’s another 40 minutes to go on this bad boy. Even skipping the commercials that leaves a lot of dull, dull crap to sit through.
Sarah Douglas does not look as hot as she did as Ursa in Superman: The Movie or even as the evil whatsitz in Conan the Destroyer. Here she just looks a touch too matronly. Also the GIANT shoulder pads don’t work for her.
Uh oh, Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s nabbed Jason Patric and the rollerboiz! And Jami Gertz is now sporting the Lawrence of Arabia look from Eddie Bauer.
Jami Gertz’s pops is named Greentree? And he looks like Jesus if Jesus were a country/western singer? Weird.
Sarah Douglas and Richard Jordan are shootin’ lasers at poor Bodhi. It’s making sad noises, which sound like Frank Welker making cutesy sound effects.
All these skinny-ass kids rollerskating up to the bad guys’ lair is not inspiring, it’s stupid. What the hell – Sarah D’s got something called Terminak: it’s a weird multi-armed robot thing. It’s like Dr. Octopus meets 2-IB. It looks more stupid that cool.
The Doberman guard dogs have little lights on their heads. So cute.
Darkstar was in a cell…with his skates on? How convenient.
HOLY CRAP, BOHDI SET SARAH DOUGLAS ON FIRE IN A KID’S MOVIE!
Now Terminak’s got a “crush” on Richard Jordan’s arm.
Bodhi just transformed from a ball into a sparkly animated stream of unicorns and rainbows. Is there NOTHINg this cute ball of awesome can’t do?
SKATE YOU FOOLS, SKATE!
Great Richard Edlund dam breaking effects. Gotta love miniatures. And cloud tank effects. Too bad it’s all backed by a Casio-score.
Bodhi transformed himself into midichlorians, danced around the kids, brought on some thunder clouds, and is now rocketing OUT of the earth’s atmosphere. Thank you strange orb from another planet!
E.T told Elliot that he’d always be “right here” and so this movie just decided to rip that line off too because it has no shame.
Wait a sec, Bodhi can turn into magic dust but he can't get away from Owlboy? And if it can make it rain, why didn't it just do that right at the beginning of the movie? Why does he wait to get orb-napped and tortured first, if all it needs is Lukas' "lurve" - which he had at the start - to make him shed a rainy tear or two million?
Magic schmagic, this is the WORST kind of fantasy writing.
End movie with Smokey Robinson tune, because, why not.
Here's something that occurred to me, but obviously NONE of the filmmakers: you have a bunch of rollerskating kids, and you even started your movie with those kids in a rollerhockey battle with other skate punks, you would assume that the final skirmish in the last act of the movie would involve a rollerskating match, face-off or something. NOPE. True, the kids roll on up to the bad guys' lair, but that it. Your stupid movie is all about rollerskating kids and rollerskating doesn't even figure into their winning the day (Bodhi does that all for them), so why make a rollerskating movie at all. That's like having a boxing movie and the boxers face off at the end over a leisurely game of backgammon!
What a great big freaking crock of roller-shit.
You don’t review a movie like Solarbabies, you simply tolerate it until the end credits roll.
“A Brooksfilm Production” -- Mel Brooks produced this dreck!
This movie wastes no time in assaulting its audience with a lousy Maurice Jarre Casio score (it truly sounds like the theme was done on one of those cheap keyboards you can buy at Target).
We get one of those lame voiceover prologues that explain the “year is 41…Earth is dried up…kids are raised in “orphanages” run by the State…and some say Bodhi will come from the stars* to save us…maybe not.” Charles Durning, our prologue provider, actually says “maybe not.” Way to inspire the audience, movie!
* In this movie, Jesus is a glowing ball. Ooooo.
I had forgotten Solarbabies involved rollerskating. Did Mel Brooks watch the brutal Rollerball one night and think, “We should do a new version of this idea, but using the young kids today.” Rollerskating movies should be outlawed, especially sci-fi rollerskating movies. Rollerskating movies should only be set in the 1970s and made with hot chicks wearing tight t-shirts and short shorts. They should not be made with Jason Patric and Lukas Haas (and Jami Gertz doesn’t even wear short shorts).
I bring up the rollerskating thing because this stupid movie launches into one right away. Jason Patric (WHY does he have a career?) leads his intrepid band of goofballs in a very dull rollerskating skirmish against a Darth Vader-esque team lead by a dude who looks like James Van der Beek from Dawson’s Creek. This very boring “match” is interrupted by laser bolts and Richard Jordan who is strutting around in a thick-plastic blue SS-type uniform (Nazi fashions are always in style in water-desperate times). He’s behind the Dawson’s Creek team and he sics the Mad Max Brigade on the kids to break up these good times.
Lukas Haas and his ears find a glowing melon-sized ball in a mine cave and it magically cures his deafness. This is Bodhi (Bo-die). Despite its magic powers, it doesn’t make you want to straggle Haas any less (Lukas was great in Witness but he’s just TOO cute here).
Lukas has as much junk and shit on his shelves as WALL-E did.
Richard Jordan has jodhpurs AND a riding crop AND a long white scarf. Good grief.
All the young dudes in this movie have the same MASSIVE chin. Was there a sale or something?
Bodhi just magically caused it to rain…INDOORS. Now the hangar doors open and all the kids do an “all skate” for recreation. All that missing is the disco ball and a corner arcade with Pong and the one older dude selling pot. James Van der Mullet is a huge asshole, picking on little Lukas and licking on Jamie Gertz. Even in the future, mulleted dudes are creeps.
Bodhi seems to be a combination of Yoda, all wise and knowing, AND Jar Jar Binks, all cutesy and goofy. George Lucas is green with envy.
WHY is one guy named METRON? Aside from the fact one of the screenwriters must be a fan of Jack Kirby’s The New Gods. Now they’re playing rollerhockey or whatever, using Bodhi as the ball. The thing LIKES being smacked around and dunked. It’s into S&M.
Meanwhile Owlboy is watching….AND HE’S AN ORB THIEF!
Lukas has run away to find Bodhi and the gang votes to go after him (the scene where they write their votes on paper was CRUCIAL to the movie’s story). Good thing the desert is so well-paved for rollerskating. Jamie Gertz has legs as skinny as a Barbie doll’s. This is not a good thing, but it does not make her any less hot.
The crappy generic 80s song over the skating in the desert montage was mercifully brief. I’m sorry but they COULD NOT jump over that huge gap in the road. Not on roller skates, movie, and not without a huge ramp.
Suddenly, the fashions look more like Beastmaster than Mad Max.
Owlboy calls himself “Darkstar.” What a turd. But he has my favorite line of the movie. When asked, “Is that owl yours” he replies, “As much as an owl is anyone’s.” Heavy.
They just lasered Beastmaster tribe leader Bob Geldof! James Van der Chin just shot Darkstar’s owl with a laser. Big brother Woodsy Owl will avenge the shit out of him now.
Now Richard Jordan’s caravan is rolling up on Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s place. Holy crap, Bob Geldof is being tortured by psychic fire ants! OMG, but that was needlessly graphic (Van der Chin was made to imagine his hand being eaten away by the fire ants. VERY convincing effect.)
This must have been one expensive movie, with all the massive interior sets and places like Tire Town (which looks like it’s just down the way from Aunty Entity’s Bartertown), Richard Edlund’s visual effects and all the special vehicles. Too bad it’s all in service to such a stupid story.
Roll yourself down the hill in a dump truck tire to escape Richard Jordan! What a great idea!
Dear lord, there’s another 40 minutes to go on this bad boy. Even skipping the commercials that leaves a lot of dull, dull crap to sit through.
Sarah Douglas does not look as hot as she did as Ursa in Superman: The Movie or even as the evil whatsitz in Conan the Destroyer. Here she just looks a touch too matronly. Also the GIANT shoulder pads don’t work for her.
Uh oh, Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s nabbed Jason Patric and the rollerboiz! And Jami Gertz is now sporting the Lawrence of Arabia look from Eddie Bauer.
Jami Gertz’s pops is named Greentree? And he looks like Jesus if Jesus were a country/western singer? Weird.
Sarah Douglas and Richard Jordan are shootin’ lasers at poor Bodhi. It’s making sad noises, which sound like Frank Welker making cutesy sound effects.
All these skinny-ass kids rollerskating up to the bad guys’ lair is not inspiring, it’s stupid. What the hell – Sarah D’s got something called Terminak: it’s a weird multi-armed robot thing. It’s like Dr. Octopus meets 2-IB. It looks more stupid that cool.
The Doberman guard dogs have little lights on their heads. So cute.
Darkstar was in a cell…with his skates on? How convenient.
HOLY CRAP, BOHDI SET SARAH DOUGLAS ON FIRE IN A KID’S MOVIE!
Now Terminak’s got a “crush” on Richard Jordan’s arm.
Bodhi just transformed from a ball into a sparkly animated stream of unicorns and rainbows. Is there NOTHINg this cute ball of awesome can’t do?
SKATE YOU FOOLS, SKATE!
Great Richard Edlund dam breaking effects. Gotta love miniatures. And cloud tank effects. Too bad it’s all backed by a Casio-score.
Bodhi transformed himself into midichlorians, danced around the kids, brought on some thunder clouds, and is now rocketing OUT of the earth’s atmosphere. Thank you strange orb from another planet!
E.T told Elliot that he’d always be “right here” and so this movie just decided to rip that line off too because it has no shame.
Wait a sec, Bodhi can turn into magic dust but he can't get away from Owlboy? And if it can make it rain, why didn't it just do that right at the beginning of the movie? Why does he wait to get orb-napped and tortured first, if all it needs is Lukas' "lurve" - which he had at the start - to make him shed a rainy tear or two million?
Magic schmagic, this is the WORST kind of fantasy writing.
End movie with Smokey Robinson tune, because, why not.
Here's something that occurred to me, but obviously NONE of the filmmakers: you have a bunch of rollerskating kids, and you even started your movie with those kids in a rollerhockey battle with other skate punks, you would assume that the final skirmish in the last act of the movie would involve a rollerskating match, face-off or something. NOPE. True, the kids roll on up to the bad guys' lair, but that it. Your stupid movie is all about rollerskating kids and rollerskating doesn't even figure into their winning the day (Bodhi does that all for them), so why make a rollerskating movie at all. That's like having a boxing movie and the boxers face off at the end over a leisurely game of backgammon!
What a great big freaking crock of roller-shit.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
A Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery Inside an Enigma
La Habitacion de Fermat (Fermat’s Room) – 2007
Four seeming disparate people – all capable mathematicians - are invited to a meeting far out in the Spanish countryside under the premise of solving a problem that has plagued mathematicians for centuries. But the invitation and the guests are not as they appear to be on the surface.
This is a fun little thriller written and directed by Luis Piedrahita and Rodrigo Sopena, and seen on the Sundance Channel. Once our group of four – Santi Milan as “Pascal,” Lluis Homar as “Hilbert,” Alejo Sauras as “Galois,” and Elena Ballesteros as “Oliva” (all given fake names after famous mathematicians) – gathers in a room at their destination, they find themselves having to solve various mathematical story problems - they call them “enigmas” – and they have some major incentive to do so: the four walls of the room all have been rigged with giant industrial presses which cause the walls to move in on the foursome, certain to crush them to death unless they can band together and figure out why the mysterious “Fermat” is doing this to them, and, more importantly, find a way out to freedom.
Fermat’s Room plays like a tight episode of the old Alfred Hitchcock Presents television series or the classic Twilight Zone, combined with a bit of Cube, the low budget sci-fi gem that was also shot primarily on one major set. The "enigmas" they are given to solve are very tricky; they are more problems of logic than simple (or even complex) math, but that doesn't detract from the movie one bit. (I'm still trying to figure out the one involving three boxes with anise seeds and mint seeds!)
It has strong performances across the board. Sauras, as the hip young mathematics poster boy, looks like an older Jonas Brother. Ballesteros has a bit of an Audrey Hepburn air about her, and an understated sexiness that combines with her intelligence to make her very desirable. The premise is intriguing (between this movie and Pi, never say math isn't sexy enough to sell tickets), solid production design on a lower budget (pay attention to the wall paper in the room!), and even some neat digital effects work in one sequence.
I’ve seen two great Spanish films on Sundance Channel now – this one and Before the Fall (aka Tres Dias) - and I hope they continue this tradition of showcasing interesting foreign indie movies, as well as American indies.
Four seeming disparate people – all capable mathematicians - are invited to a meeting far out in the Spanish countryside under the premise of solving a problem that has plagued mathematicians for centuries. But the invitation and the guests are not as they appear to be on the surface.
This is a fun little thriller written and directed by Luis Piedrahita and Rodrigo Sopena, and seen on the Sundance Channel. Once our group of four – Santi Milan as “Pascal,” Lluis Homar as “Hilbert,” Alejo Sauras as “Galois,” and Elena Ballesteros as “Oliva” (all given fake names after famous mathematicians) – gathers in a room at their destination, they find themselves having to solve various mathematical story problems - they call them “enigmas” – and they have some major incentive to do so: the four walls of the room all have been rigged with giant industrial presses which cause the walls to move in on the foursome, certain to crush them to death unless they can band together and figure out why the mysterious “Fermat” is doing this to them, and, more importantly, find a way out to freedom.
Fermat’s Room plays like a tight episode of the old Alfred Hitchcock Presents television series or the classic Twilight Zone, combined with a bit of Cube, the low budget sci-fi gem that was also shot primarily on one major set. The "enigmas" they are given to solve are very tricky; they are more problems of logic than simple (or even complex) math, but that doesn't detract from the movie one bit. (I'm still trying to figure out the one involving three boxes with anise seeds and mint seeds!)
It has strong performances across the board. Sauras, as the hip young mathematics poster boy, looks like an older Jonas Brother. Ballesteros has a bit of an Audrey Hepburn air about her, and an understated sexiness that combines with her intelligence to make her very desirable. The premise is intriguing (between this movie and Pi, never say math isn't sexy enough to sell tickets), solid production design on a lower budget (pay attention to the wall paper in the room!), and even some neat digital effects work in one sequence.
I’ve seen two great Spanish films on Sundance Channel now – this one and Before the Fall (aka Tres Dias) - and I hope they continue this tradition of showcasing interesting foreign indie movies, as well as American indies.
Once Upon a Time, There Was a Parallel Universe - Fringe review
Fringe – “Brown Betty”
Fringe does a musical episode. Sorta.
In the previous episode, Peter (Joshua Jackson) found out that he is not Walter’s (John Noble) son. Well, at least not the Walter of this universe. Now Peter has gone missing. So Walter copes the only way he knows how. By getting lit (he crosses a couple of different pot plants, including some Afghan Kush, to come up with something he calls "Brown Betty").
Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv) asks Astrid (Jasika Nicole) to babysit her niece Ella while she runs down a lead on Peter, and “Uncle” Walter ends up telling the little girl a story to pass the time. The yarn Walter spins is a trippy noir-esque tale with 1950s trappings, which puts the main cast into different but familiar roles, for example SA Broyles is Lt. Broyles who also happens to sing and play piano and Olivia is a former cop turned, what else, but private eye.
Dunham the P.I. is hired by a wheelchair-bound Walter to find a special glass heart. It turns out the Walter in this tale created rainbows and bubble gum and this glass heart is his most prized creation, but it was stolen by his assistant Peter Bishop (no relation in this tale). Dunham runs up against Massive Dynamic, Nina Sharp and her Watchers, as the Observers are called here (and a more clear nod to the Watchers of Marvel Comics who inspired the Observers).
It all has a happy ending, more thanks to little Ella than Walter. Except that in the real world, Peter is still missing, leaving Walter to grieve a while longer.
This episode really didn’t work for me. It was advertised and discussed on the web as “the musical episode” but it really wasn’t a musical. A few characters sang a couple of lines from some songs and that’s it. They never sang a complete song, nor were there any big Glee-like production numbers. Full-blown musical episodes have been done on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena: Warrior Princess and Scrubs (with the creators of Avenue Q working on the latter). Buffy’s is especially noteworthy in that creator Joss Whedon wrote and composed original songs for the episode, and the songs directly reflected and commented on the character’s states of mind and then-current arcs. The Buffy musical episode, called “Once More, With Feeling,” was exceptional television; Fringe’s “Brown Betty” was not. I didn’t care for the 1950s milieu (it seemed like warmed over Dixon Hill, P.I. leftovers from Star Trek: The Next Generation), the songs were all over the place and not very interesting or memorable (several were culled from Walter’s selections that he was playing on his turntable).
All in all this Brown Betty was a huge downer. Puff, puff…major PASS.
Fringe does a musical episode. Sorta.
In the previous episode, Peter (Joshua Jackson) found out that he is not Walter’s (John Noble) son. Well, at least not the Walter of this universe. Now Peter has gone missing. So Walter copes the only way he knows how. By getting lit (he crosses a couple of different pot plants, including some Afghan Kush, to come up with something he calls "Brown Betty").
Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv) asks Astrid (Jasika Nicole) to babysit her niece Ella while she runs down a lead on Peter, and “Uncle” Walter ends up telling the little girl a story to pass the time. The yarn Walter spins is a trippy noir-esque tale with 1950s trappings, which puts the main cast into different but familiar roles, for example SA Broyles is Lt. Broyles who also happens to sing and play piano and Olivia is a former cop turned, what else, but private eye.
Dunham the P.I. is hired by a wheelchair-bound Walter to find a special glass heart. It turns out the Walter in this tale created rainbows and bubble gum and this glass heart is his most prized creation, but it was stolen by his assistant Peter Bishop (no relation in this tale). Dunham runs up against Massive Dynamic, Nina Sharp and her Watchers, as the Observers are called here (and a more clear nod to the Watchers of Marvel Comics who inspired the Observers).
It all has a happy ending, more thanks to little Ella than Walter. Except that in the real world, Peter is still missing, leaving Walter to grieve a while longer.
This episode really didn’t work for me. It was advertised and discussed on the web as “the musical episode” but it really wasn’t a musical. A few characters sang a couple of lines from some songs and that’s it. They never sang a complete song, nor were there any big Glee-like production numbers. Full-blown musical episodes have been done on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena: Warrior Princess and Scrubs (with the creators of Avenue Q working on the latter). Buffy’s is especially noteworthy in that creator Joss Whedon wrote and composed original songs for the episode, and the songs directly reflected and commented on the character’s states of mind and then-current arcs. The Buffy musical episode, called “Once More, With Feeling,” was exceptional television; Fringe’s “Brown Betty” was not. I didn’t care for the 1950s milieu (it seemed like warmed over Dixon Hill, P.I. leftovers from Star Trek: The Next Generation), the songs were all over the place and not very interesting or memorable (several were culled from Walter’s selections that he was playing on his turntable).
All in all this Brown Betty was a huge downer. Puff, puff…major PASS.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Zoology in the 23rd Century
Star Trek is (C) 2010 & a Registered TM of CBS Studios, Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended. Screencap from Trekcore.com.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Getting Your A$$ Kicked
Kick-Ass, which was "The #1 Movie in America" last week, was trounced in its second weekend by How To Train Your Dragon (which is in its FIFTH week of release) and a couple of new releases, including another comic book-to-film adaptation in The Losers. Kick-Ass dropped down to the number five slot this weekend.
Kick-Ass was made for a modest $30 to $40 million, so it will make its money back and probably a few bucks on top of that for its studio.
But it recently dawned on me why I didn't like the movie: it's hero really isn't one. Yeah, I know the movie supposedly satirizes comic book conventions, while at the same time being a straight-forward enough comic book adventure, but there's no reason for the hero to do what he does.
Kick-Ass isn't motivated by a personal tragedy like Batman or Daredevil, or a greater sense of good and justice like Superman, the mold from which all other heroes are cast. In Iron Man Tony Stark spent his life making weapons but never experienced their devastating power. Once he did, he desperately wanted to change his ways. And it wasn't just being in a gunfight that changed his mind, but having a piece of shrapnel from one of his weapons permanently lodged near his heart (how's that for a metaphor for ya?).
In the movie, teenager Dave isn't motivated by anything. True, he gets his lunch money and cell phone stolen by some toughs, but that's not motivation enough to put on a costume and fight crime. The only reason seems to be, "Well, we have a comic book movie to put on, so we gotta have Dave put on a costume."
If the hero has zero motivation for what he does, other than "wouldn't it be cool if I was a superhero like in the comics I read," then the audience has the same zero motivation to watch him. It doesn't help that the movie then spends way too much time with the bad guys. We already know what the Big Bad's motivation is, it's money and power, the usual Big Bad motivation.
There was one brief moment of hope in the movie where Kick-Ass refuses to back down from defending a stranger from three goons. The odds are uneven 3 to 1, then 3 against 2 when Kick-Ass comes to the guy's aid. Both KA and the audience have no idea why the three goons are kicking the crap out of this guy, but regardless, its so not a fair fight. Kick-Ass gets beaten up nearly as badly as the stranger but he refuses to back down because the three goons aren't fighting fair. They respect him for that, and so does the audience. But the movie never has another scene like that, quickly moving on to the stories of all the additional costumed folk inspired by Kick-Ass: Big Daddy, Hit Girl and Red Mist. Perhaps if they saved that for a sequel and concentrated solely on the character of Kick-Ass they might have had something on their hands.
The movie even has the temerity to ridicule (or "satirize") Spider-Man's famous credo, With great power comes great responsibility. Kick-Ass turns it into, With no power comes no responsibility, which is a perfect motto for the ADD video game generation. Kick-Ass might as well have said, I don't give a crap and neither should you!
As it is, the fanboys came out, saw the movie and that was it. The general movie going public stayed away. A good story would have generated good word of mouth, but Kick-Ass had a muddled story that wasn't that interesting (foul language and whacking off jokes aside).
Time and again that what it truly comes down to: the story and the characters. Get those right and you have a Star Wars, Spider-Man 2, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Iron Man on your hands. Get it wrong and you have Elektra, The Golden Compass, and Wolverine to contend with. Throw Kick-Ass into the heap of the latter set.
If the studios would stop setting release dates BEFORE they have the script and casting nailed down maybe they'd make MORE money.
Kick-Ass was made for a modest $30 to $40 million, so it will make its money back and probably a few bucks on top of that for its studio.
But it recently dawned on me why I didn't like the movie: it's hero really isn't one. Yeah, I know the movie supposedly satirizes comic book conventions, while at the same time being a straight-forward enough comic book adventure, but there's no reason for the hero to do what he does.
Kick-Ass isn't motivated by a personal tragedy like Batman or Daredevil, or a greater sense of good and justice like Superman, the mold from which all other heroes are cast. In Iron Man Tony Stark spent his life making weapons but never experienced their devastating power. Once he did, he desperately wanted to change his ways. And it wasn't just being in a gunfight that changed his mind, but having a piece of shrapnel from one of his weapons permanently lodged near his heart (how's that for a metaphor for ya?).
In the movie, teenager Dave isn't motivated by anything. True, he gets his lunch money and cell phone stolen by some toughs, but that's not motivation enough to put on a costume and fight crime. The only reason seems to be, "Well, we have a comic book movie to put on, so we gotta have Dave put on a costume."
If the hero has zero motivation for what he does, other than "wouldn't it be cool if I was a superhero like in the comics I read," then the audience has the same zero motivation to watch him. It doesn't help that the movie then spends way too much time with the bad guys. We already know what the Big Bad's motivation is, it's money and power, the usual Big Bad motivation.
There was one brief moment of hope in the movie where Kick-Ass refuses to back down from defending a stranger from three goons. The odds are uneven 3 to 1, then 3 against 2 when Kick-Ass comes to the guy's aid. Both KA and the audience have no idea why the three goons are kicking the crap out of this guy, but regardless, its so not a fair fight. Kick-Ass gets beaten up nearly as badly as the stranger but he refuses to back down because the three goons aren't fighting fair. They respect him for that, and so does the audience. But the movie never has another scene like that, quickly moving on to the stories of all the additional costumed folk inspired by Kick-Ass: Big Daddy, Hit Girl and Red Mist. Perhaps if they saved that for a sequel and concentrated solely on the character of Kick-Ass they might have had something on their hands.
The movie even has the temerity to ridicule (or "satirize") Spider-Man's famous credo, With great power comes great responsibility. Kick-Ass turns it into, With no power comes no responsibility, which is a perfect motto for the ADD video game generation. Kick-Ass might as well have said, I don't give a crap and neither should you!
As it is, the fanboys came out, saw the movie and that was it. The general movie going public stayed away. A good story would have generated good word of mouth, but Kick-Ass had a muddled story that wasn't that interesting (foul language and whacking off jokes aside).
Time and again that what it truly comes down to: the story and the characters. Get those right and you have a Star Wars, Spider-Man 2, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Iron Man on your hands. Get it wrong and you have Elektra, The Golden Compass, and Wolverine to contend with. Throw Kick-Ass into the heap of the latter set.
If the studios would stop setting release dates BEFORE they have the script and casting nailed down maybe they'd make MORE money.
Crossing Over (Without John Edward)
Fringe - "The Man from the Other Side"
SPOILERS
The alternate universe shapeshifters are back, and they're up to no good (as is their usual m.o.). This means Thomas Jerome Newton (Sebastian Roche, who'd be my pick to play Gordon Ramsay in a bio-pic of the Hell's Kitchen celeb chef) is also back and he's perfected a way to bring something or someone from the alternate universe over to our universe.
This is another strong Walter Bishop show as John Noble, once again, gives an Emmy-winning performance. Walter is still wracked with guilt over whether to tell Peter (Joshua Jackson) the truth about his origins. Just as he's about to confess, Olivia (Anna Torv) calls in and the Fringe team is put to work. Walter gets to put his marijuana knowledge, as well as his pecan pie-making skills to work, and he gets to cut up a shapeshifter embryo. (It sort of looks like a next gen version of the Alien egg.)
As always the science sounds like it could be true or at least plausible (I'd love to sit and chat with the show's science and tech consultants), with frequency harmonics and such.
The scene between Walter and Peter in the hospital is absolutely heartbreaking. Peter, having survived the attempt to neutralize Newton's crossover bid, has deduced the truth about himself, that he is in fact from the alternate universe. I've never seen Joshua Jackson so stone-faced and cold as he was in this scene. It was chilling, and in such contrast to John Noble's Walter as he stood there, eyes welling with tears, lower lip quivering, as his world is being torn apart by the ugly truth of what he, and he alone, had done. Great writing, acting and directing.
One of the things that has really bothered me about the final season of Lost is that the characters seem just so blase about huge, important revelations, things like we know John Locke is dead - we've seen his corpse, and now there's something that's walking around that looks like Locke, and oh yeah, this faux-Locke out and out tells people he's the freaking Smoke Monster and they don't bat an eyelash. They've be more surprised if Locke had a twin brother than by the fact that a cloud of black smoke has taken the form of a man they've lived and fought with and against. I hope Fringe really changes its characters with these life-altering revelations - they may have to still work together but they cannot treat each other the same way.
Please, Fringe writers, don't disappoint me there (you haven't so far).
SPOILERS
The alternate universe shapeshifters are back, and they're up to no good (as is their usual m.o.). This means Thomas Jerome Newton (Sebastian Roche, who'd be my pick to play Gordon Ramsay in a bio-pic of the Hell's Kitchen celeb chef) is also back and he's perfected a way to bring something or someone from the alternate universe over to our universe.
This is another strong Walter Bishop show as John Noble, once again, gives an Emmy-winning performance. Walter is still wracked with guilt over whether to tell Peter (Joshua Jackson) the truth about his origins. Just as he's about to confess, Olivia (Anna Torv) calls in and the Fringe team is put to work. Walter gets to put his marijuana knowledge, as well as his pecan pie-making skills to work, and he gets to cut up a shapeshifter embryo. (It sort of looks like a next gen version of the Alien egg.)
As always the science sounds like it could be true or at least plausible (I'd love to sit and chat with the show's science and tech consultants), with frequency harmonics and such.
The scene between Walter and Peter in the hospital is absolutely heartbreaking. Peter, having survived the attempt to neutralize Newton's crossover bid, has deduced the truth about himself, that he is in fact from the alternate universe. I've never seen Joshua Jackson so stone-faced and cold as he was in this scene. It was chilling, and in such contrast to John Noble's Walter as he stood there, eyes welling with tears, lower lip quivering, as his world is being torn apart by the ugly truth of what he, and he alone, had done. Great writing, acting and directing.
One of the things that has really bothered me about the final season of Lost is that the characters seem just so blase about huge, important revelations, things like we know John Locke is dead - we've seen his corpse, and now there's something that's walking around that looks like Locke, and oh yeah, this faux-Locke out and out tells people he's the freaking Smoke Monster and they don't bat an eyelash. They've be more surprised if Locke had a twin brother than by the fact that a cloud of black smoke has taken the form of a man they've lived and fought with and against. I hope Fringe really changes its characters with these life-altering revelations - they may have to still work together but they cannot treat each other the same way.
Please, Fringe writers, don't disappoint me there (you haven't so far).
Thursday, April 22, 2010
What's Up, Doc?
We LOVES us some Bugs Bunny at the space station here. Classic Looney Tunes cartoons are literal works of art.
Now comes word via Yahoo News that Cartoon Network is bringing back Bugs and Company.
Bugs and the rest of the classic Looney Tunes stable have lasted all these years because they are such relatable characters: tough, lovable, curmudgeonly, funny, and even looney. They have real personalities, especially when compared to such characters as Mickey Mouse and his Disney kin.
Just a word of advice, mack: Do NOT mess this up, or...Hassan chop!
Star Trek TNG pic (c) 2010 and a Registered Trademark of CBS Studios Inc. Bugs Bunny (c) Warner Brothers. No infringement of these rights is intended. Screencap from Trekcore.com.
Monday, April 19, 2010
2012: The Sequel (Not Really)
The San Diego Comic Con is a ginormous multimedia marketing extravaganza. I hear it also has something to do with comic books.
In 2012, the contract between the City of San Diego and the organizers of SDCC ends, so other cities are waving bright shiny objects in front of the organizers trying to get them to move SDCC to their city. Somehow the Las Vegas Comic Con just doesn't sound as cool. Maybe it's the tassels. And why'd they pick 2012 anyway? Don't they know we already gotta contend with Mayan calendars (btw, love their centerfold sacrifices), space asteroids, mammoth earthquakes and global flooding? Not to mention postage stamps are probably going to go up again in 2012.
But the City of San Diego isn't resting on its well-tanned laurels. Here's what they are proposing (from slashfilm.com): "A $753 million expansion of the San Diego convention center which would provide an additional 200,000 square feet of exhibit space, a third ballroom, 100,000 square feet of meeting rooms, and a new 500 room hotel directly behind the convention center. This would give the center a total of 815,000 square feet of exhibition space, about the same as Anaheim’s convention center."
All that and I'm guessing they're only gonna add three more restrooms. But then, again, what would comic book conventions be without grossly inadequate restroom facilities?
In 2012, the contract between the City of San Diego and the organizers of SDCC ends, so other cities are waving bright shiny objects in front of the organizers trying to get them to move SDCC to their city. Somehow the Las Vegas Comic Con just doesn't sound as cool. Maybe it's the tassels. And why'd they pick 2012 anyway? Don't they know we already gotta contend with Mayan calendars (btw, love their centerfold sacrifices), space asteroids, mammoth earthquakes and global flooding? Not to mention postage stamps are probably going to go up again in 2012.
But the City of San Diego isn't resting on its well-tanned laurels. Here's what they are proposing (from slashfilm.com): "A $753 million expansion of the San Diego convention center which would provide an additional 200,000 square feet of exhibit space, a third ballroom, 100,000 square feet of meeting rooms, and a new 500 room hotel directly behind the convention center. This would give the center a total of 815,000 square feet of exhibition space, about the same as Anaheim’s convention center."
All that and I'm guessing they're only gonna add three more restrooms. But then, again, what would comic book conventions be without grossly inadequate restroom facilities?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Kick- Ass is a Schizophrenic Superhero Mess
Kick-Ass (2010)
A study in comic book schizophrenia. Superheroes have always been a bit schizophrenic, with costumed guises always clashing with their secret civilian identities. The new movie Kick-Ass, based on the creator-owned title of the same name by writer Mark Millar and artist John Romita Jr. and published by Marvel Comics, wants to be a "real world" tale of a teenage boy who dons a homemade costume and becomes a superhero. But it's also a traditional fantasy superhero movie with the same over-the-top, impossible-but-fun fight scenes and more. It's a goofy satire, but then there's a sequence where two characters are tortured and about to be executed on live video which is very chilling.
Let's face it, this movie is bi-polar.
It begins as the story of Dave Lizewski (British actor Aaron Johnson), average eyeglasses-wearing, girlfriend-less teen, who gets jacked regularly by two high school thugs who demand his "money and cell phone." One day the comic book-reading teen decides to send away for some rudimentary supplies - a scuba suit and some nightsticks - and becomes Kick-Ass.
On his first venture out, he not only gets his ass handed to him but nearly dies in the process. He is much more successful his second time out, when he defends a man who is set upon by three thugs. He's beaten (again) and outnumbered, but he won't give up. It's the best moment in the movie for the Kick-Ass character but the movie never provides another moment as good as that one for him.
Meanwhile, we meet ruthless but somewhat goofball NYC mobster Frank D'Amico and his son McLovin, I mean Chris/Red Mist (played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse who with his scratchy voice and slight frame will forever be known as McLovin; sorry, but its true). The mobster tries to hide what he does for a living from his son, but the kid has a pretty good idea how pops brings home the cocaine-covered bacon.
Also meanwhile we meet cute as a button 11 year old Mindy (Chloe Grace Moretz, the breakout star of the movie) and her more than a little unhinged daddy Damon MacReady played by Nicholas Cage (soon to be known by superhero monikers Hit Girl and Big Daddy, respectively). The first time we meet this odd couple is a great piece of storytelling, I mean how many loving fathers shoot their pigtail-sporting little girls point blank with a pistol? And who knew they made kevlar bullet-proof vests for 11 year olds? Where in WalMart do they stock those?
It turns out that Big Daddy has a mad on for Mobster D'Amico and starts killing off his goons and messing up his coke shipments. Kick-Ass gets blamed for this at one point, drawing him into D'Amico's sphere of influence. Along the way there is a lot of punching and kicking and blood and more blood and even some severed limbs.
I liked big chunks of this movie - the major action scenes, especially involving the whirling dervish Hit Girl, are well done in terms of choreography and editing (and pint-size stunt doubles) - but when I step back and try to look at the whole thing I really don't understand it. It tries to have its cake and eat it too. It gives us a "realistic" take on being a real world superhero, but then it more than dips its Doc Martin-wearing toe into the traditional fantasy superhero world. The comic book creators and the filmmakers apparently believe that merely letting the main hero get beaten to a bloody pulp a few times is enough to qualify as grounding their story in the real world. But then the movie only shows Dave doing a few sit ups to get himself ready to go out into the world and kick ass. He doesn't take any martial arts or self defense classes or even check out a library book on karate or something. He's not particularly strong or athletic so how he's able to withstand multiple beatings from big goombah thugs is beyond me. (Yes, the movie states that after his first beating he becomes somewhat oblivious to pain, but it also appeared to give him a "healing factor" because NO non-superpowered person could get beat up like that without being a bruised, shredded, pulpy mess - Dave just wipes the blood off his skin and VOILA he's whole again. If the blood is just on top of his skin, WHERE is it coming from?)
Once Hit Girl and Big Daddy hit the screen they completely overshadow Kick-Ass; this dynamic duo is simply much more interesting than our teal-suited teen (Dave even intones at one point with "No power comes no responsibility" so why should we care about him). Moretz owns the movie, to use a current phrase. I think she could even stand an award nomination or two for her work here, she's funny, confident and self-assured. But it's beyond me why it was necessary for her character to use the foul language (the f word, the c word) she employs. When she does it as Hit Girl you might argue it's to throw the bad guys off balance, but that isn't the case; none of them seem to mind, so it's done for the audience's sake not the story's. But then she also uses foul language when she's not in costume, just as Mindy, who is apparently home-schooled by her dad. Her father doesn't swear and he doesn't seem to notice his daughter using the foul language, so, once again, I don't understand the point (other than British writer Mark Millar and British director Matthew Vaughn think it's funny for an 11 year old girl to cuss like that). Cage does something as Big Daddy that I wasn't expecting. I won't tell you what it was but it was brilliant on his part (if it was his idea). This is a welcome return to earlier form for Cage, who got his start in quirky movies like Raising Arizona and Vampire's Kiss
One thing that really hurt the story of Kick-Ass was that the movie spent a lot of time with its villain, Frank D'Amico, played by Mark Strong. Too much time, in fact, that it hurt the rhythm of Dave's story. D'Amico started out a bit like Dennis Farina's mobster in Midnight Run with some humorous turns, but became much less interesting and more traditional and one-note as the movie went along. I didn't understand why most of his goons were portrayed as total morons, more cartoons than anything. At one point they're trying to get information as to who is messing with the boss's coke shipments and they put a guy in a "giant industrial microwave" used to dry lumber (or so the movie says). Of course all the goons are shocked at the obvious messy outcome of putting a man in a giant microwave. I guess none of them has ever popped a bag of popcorn before.
I don't think I could recommend this movie. Perhaps if I saw it again I might like it better, but as it stands it felt like two different movies smashed together: one the slight story of Kick-Ass and the other one - the better one - the story of Hit Girl and Big Daddy. I prefer the exploits of the latter.
A study in comic book schizophrenia. Superheroes have always been a bit schizophrenic, with costumed guises always clashing with their secret civilian identities. The new movie Kick-Ass, based on the creator-owned title of the same name by writer Mark Millar and artist John Romita Jr. and published by Marvel Comics, wants to be a "real world" tale of a teenage boy who dons a homemade costume and becomes a superhero. But it's also a traditional fantasy superhero movie with the same over-the-top, impossible-but-fun fight scenes and more. It's a goofy satire, but then there's a sequence where two characters are tortured and about to be executed on live video which is very chilling.
Let's face it, this movie is bi-polar.
It begins as the story of Dave Lizewski (British actor Aaron Johnson), average eyeglasses-wearing, girlfriend-less teen, who gets jacked regularly by two high school thugs who demand his "money and cell phone." One day the comic book-reading teen decides to send away for some rudimentary supplies - a scuba suit and some nightsticks - and becomes Kick-Ass.
On his first venture out, he not only gets his ass handed to him but nearly dies in the process. He is much more successful his second time out, when he defends a man who is set upon by three thugs. He's beaten (again) and outnumbered, but he won't give up. It's the best moment in the movie for the Kick-Ass character but the movie never provides another moment as good as that one for him.
Meanwhile, we meet ruthless but somewhat goofball NYC mobster Frank D'Amico and his son McLovin, I mean Chris/Red Mist (played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse who with his scratchy voice and slight frame will forever be known as McLovin; sorry, but its true). The mobster tries to hide what he does for a living from his son, but the kid has a pretty good idea how pops brings home the cocaine-covered bacon.
Also meanwhile we meet cute as a button 11 year old Mindy (Chloe Grace Moretz, the breakout star of the movie) and her more than a little unhinged daddy Damon MacReady played by Nicholas Cage (soon to be known by superhero monikers Hit Girl and Big Daddy, respectively). The first time we meet this odd couple is a great piece of storytelling, I mean how many loving fathers shoot their pigtail-sporting little girls point blank with a pistol? And who knew they made kevlar bullet-proof vests for 11 year olds? Where in WalMart do they stock those?
It turns out that Big Daddy has a mad on for Mobster D'Amico and starts killing off his goons and messing up his coke shipments. Kick-Ass gets blamed for this at one point, drawing him into D'Amico's sphere of influence. Along the way there is a lot of punching and kicking and blood and more blood and even some severed limbs.
I liked big chunks of this movie - the major action scenes, especially involving the whirling dervish Hit Girl, are well done in terms of choreography and editing (and pint-size stunt doubles) - but when I step back and try to look at the whole thing I really don't understand it. It tries to have its cake and eat it too. It gives us a "realistic" take on being a real world superhero, but then it more than dips its Doc Martin-wearing toe into the traditional fantasy superhero world. The comic book creators and the filmmakers apparently believe that merely letting the main hero get beaten to a bloody pulp a few times is enough to qualify as grounding their story in the real world. But then the movie only shows Dave doing a few sit ups to get himself ready to go out into the world and kick ass. He doesn't take any martial arts or self defense classes or even check out a library book on karate or something. He's not particularly strong or athletic so how he's able to withstand multiple beatings from big goombah thugs is beyond me. (Yes, the movie states that after his first beating he becomes somewhat oblivious to pain, but it also appeared to give him a "healing factor" because NO non-superpowered person could get beat up like that without being a bruised, shredded, pulpy mess - Dave just wipes the blood off his skin and VOILA he's whole again. If the blood is just on top of his skin, WHERE is it coming from?)
Once Hit Girl and Big Daddy hit the screen they completely overshadow Kick-Ass; this dynamic duo is simply much more interesting than our teal-suited teen (Dave even intones at one point with "No power comes no responsibility" so why should we care about him). Moretz owns the movie, to use a current phrase. I think she could even stand an award nomination or two for her work here, she's funny, confident and self-assured. But it's beyond me why it was necessary for her character to use the foul language (the f word, the c word) she employs. When she does it as Hit Girl you might argue it's to throw the bad guys off balance, but that isn't the case; none of them seem to mind, so it's done for the audience's sake not the story's. But then she also uses foul language when she's not in costume, just as Mindy, who is apparently home-schooled by her dad. Her father doesn't swear and he doesn't seem to notice his daughter using the foul language, so, once again, I don't understand the point (other than British writer Mark Millar and British director Matthew Vaughn think it's funny for an 11 year old girl to cuss like that). Cage does something as Big Daddy that I wasn't expecting. I won't tell you what it was but it was brilliant on his part (if it was his idea). This is a welcome return to earlier form for Cage, who got his start in quirky movies like Raising Arizona and Vampire's Kiss
One thing that really hurt the story of Kick-Ass was that the movie spent a lot of time with its villain, Frank D'Amico, played by Mark Strong. Too much time, in fact, that it hurt the rhythm of Dave's story. D'Amico started out a bit like Dennis Farina's mobster in Midnight Run with some humorous turns, but became much less interesting and more traditional and one-note as the movie went along. I didn't understand why most of his goons were portrayed as total morons, more cartoons than anything. At one point they're trying to get information as to who is messing with the boss's coke shipments and they put a guy in a "giant industrial microwave" used to dry lumber (or so the movie says). Of course all the goons are shocked at the obvious messy outcome of putting a man in a giant microwave. I guess none of them has ever popped a bag of popcorn before.
I don't think I could recommend this movie. Perhaps if I saw it again I might like it better, but as it stands it felt like two different movies smashed together: one the slight story of Kick-Ass and the other one - the better one - the story of Hit Girl and Big Daddy. I prefer the exploits of the latter.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Habitats of Humanity
Strange and crazy architecture, communities, and cities hold great fascination for us, and the fine folks as io9.com have another amazing post about such things: 10 Weirdest Urban Ecosystems on Earth.
From the sprawling, enviro-friendly and THX-1138-ish former limestone mine now underground office/business complex called "SubTropolis" in Kansas City, MO (super BBQ AND underground complexes, go figure) to the slums of Mumbai and the Garbage City of Egypt (HOW do people live this way?) to the artificial Japanese island Gunkanjima (SOMEONE'S gotta film an end of the world movie there!) to the breathtaking centuries old city of Petra, carved out of the canyon walls in Jordan (yup, as seen in Indiana Jones and the (Next to) Last Crusade).
It's a wild mishmash sampling of humanity's ingenuity, from the insane to the incredible.
From the sprawling, enviro-friendly and THX-1138-ish former limestone mine now underground office/business complex called "SubTropolis" in Kansas City, MO (super BBQ AND underground complexes, go figure) to the slums of Mumbai and the Garbage City of Egypt (HOW do people live this way?) to the artificial Japanese island Gunkanjima (SOMEONE'S gotta film an end of the world movie there!) to the breathtaking centuries old city of Petra, carved out of the canyon walls in Jordan (yup, as seen in Indiana Jones and the (Next to) Last Crusade).
It's a wild mishmash sampling of humanity's ingenuity, from the insane to the incredible.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tall, Blond and Furry
As a fan of all things Ape and Ape-like, I just HAD to post this io9.com piece about BIGFOOT.
They even have the video of the opening theme for...Bigfoot and Wildboy!
For those of you old enough to remember that little gem of a live action show, it's okay to tear up and sniffle. Go ahead, get a tissue if you need one. Or laugh your ass off. Either response will suffice.
Bigfoot and Wildboy, now THERE'S an old show just begging for the remake/reimagining treatment. Any takers?
They even have the video of the opening theme for...Bigfoot and Wildboy!
For those of you old enough to remember that little gem of a live action show, it's okay to tear up and sniffle. Go ahead, get a tissue if you need one. Or laugh your ass off. Either response will suffice.
Bigfoot and Wildboy, now THERE'S an old show just begging for the remake/reimagining treatment. Any takers?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
New Jack Kirby-created Superheroes
SciFiWire.com has a post concerning new creations from the late legendary co-creator of much of the Marvel Comics universe Jack Kirby.
Well, they're sorta new.
Kirby left the four-color funny books for a time to work in Saturday morning animation for producers Ruby-Spears. His designs and concepts made it into such series as Space Star and most notably Thundarr the Barbarian. Apparently there is a treasure trove of artwork and concepts that Kirby made that never saw the animation table.
Now it's being shopped around Hollywood.
I think Kirby's best work was with Stan Lee, although his solo turns with The Eternals for Marvel and the Fourth World/New Gods series for DC are both interesting and continue to pop up today (especially Darkseid and Apokalips from the New Gods).
But most of his other solo work was just weird, including Silver Star, Secret City, and Captain Victory and the Galactic Rangers. They seemed to be rehashes of his previous co-creations, complete with some of the weirdest costumes ever.
It will be interesting to see if anything comes of this, but I think animation might be the best arena for Kirby's colorful crazy characters and imagination.
Well, they're sorta new.
Kirby left the four-color funny books for a time to work in Saturday morning animation for producers Ruby-Spears. His designs and concepts made it into such series as Space Star and most notably Thundarr the Barbarian. Apparently there is a treasure trove of artwork and concepts that Kirby made that never saw the animation table.
Now it's being shopped around Hollywood.
I think Kirby's best work was with Stan Lee, although his solo turns with The Eternals for Marvel and the Fourth World/New Gods series for DC are both interesting and continue to pop up today (especially Darkseid and Apokalips from the New Gods).
But most of his other solo work was just weird, including Silver Star, Secret City, and Captain Victory and the Galactic Rangers. They seemed to be rehashes of his previous co-creations, complete with some of the weirdest costumes ever.
It will be interesting to see if anything comes of this, but I think animation might be the best arena for Kirby's colorful crazy characters and imagination.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Girl Types According to Richard Roeper
I absolutely love this quote from movie critic Richard Roeper's blog, "You know how some guys have a ‘type’ they’re attracted to? With Mr. (Jesse) James, it would appear there are at least two distinct types that catch his eye: the kind of girl you take home to Mom, and the kind of girl who would scare the shit out of Mom, Dad, the family dog and just about everyone else who isn’t a trained special ops expert or a vampire hunter."
Well, there's a movie idea right there: Special Ops Vampire Hunters! The poster tagline could be, "This war has fangs."
Well, there's a movie idea right there: Special Ops Vampire Hunters! The poster tagline could be, "This war has fangs."
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Who Knows What Evil Lurks in the Hearts of Men?
FilmSchoolRejects.com has a fun look back at 1994's The Shadow starring Alec Baldwin and John Lone.
The Shadow is such an interesting character, beginning as a radio show narrator in 1930 before graduating to a radio series all his own (and being voiced by wunderkind Orson Welles), then on to pulp magazine novels, movies, television, comic books and finally a big-budget movie directed by Russell Mulcahey. The character was also one of the big inspirations behind the creation of another famous creature of the night: The Batman (created in 1939).
The movie is seriously flawed - they messed with the Shadow's origin to tie him and the movie's villain Shiwan Khan more closely together - but looks great and the costume and make-up to transform Baldwin into the mysterious avenger who "knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men" is fantastic. Baldwin is perfect for the role, convincing as a millionaire playboy and equally convincing as his alter ego, the mysterious and more than a bit creepy Shadow (complete with great use of his deep scratchy voice and laugh). But I think they spent far too much time trying to devise and execute the way the Shadow appears and disappears in scenes - the "clouding of men's minds" - rather than spending the time on the script to make it more interesting and less bloated and obtuse.
Lone, who was great in Iceman and Year of the Dragon (a hero in the first, villain in the latter) is a dull villain here, and there isn't much humor in the film (save for Jonathan Winters' performance). Penelope Ann Miller as love interest Margo Lane is pretty but doesn't have much of a character (plus they made her a telepath, which is most certainly not in the source materials). There's no spunk there, like Margot Kidder brought to Lois Lane in the Christopher Reeve Superman movies; Miller was more annoying than endearing.
Aliens had one of the best ensemble casts in genre movies; the actors fit the characters (the veteran Sgt Apone, Hicks, Hudson, "Frosty," Vasquez and Drake), unlike The Abyss where the large ensemble didn't really come together (can you name just one of the supporting characters). The Shadow's cast of supporting characters who play his various agents are more like the latter film. They may all be competent actors, but for these roles they don't do anything to really get your attention (this is one of my problems with the new V series - flat casting).
Still, The Shadow is one of those movies that you watch whenever it's on. There was potential there, but it wasn't realized to its fullest.
Perhaps Sam Raimi, an admitted fan of the character, will either direct or at least produce a more faithful, fun and adventurous version of this beloved icon.
And always remember, The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
The Shadow is such an interesting character, beginning as a radio show narrator in 1930 before graduating to a radio series all his own (and being voiced by wunderkind Orson Welles), then on to pulp magazine novels, movies, television, comic books and finally a big-budget movie directed by Russell Mulcahey. The character was also one of the big inspirations behind the creation of another famous creature of the night: The Batman (created in 1939).
The movie is seriously flawed - they messed with the Shadow's origin to tie him and the movie's villain Shiwan Khan more closely together - but looks great and the costume and make-up to transform Baldwin into the mysterious avenger who "knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men" is fantastic. Baldwin is perfect for the role, convincing as a millionaire playboy and equally convincing as his alter ego, the mysterious and more than a bit creepy Shadow (complete with great use of his deep scratchy voice and laugh). But I think they spent far too much time trying to devise and execute the way the Shadow appears and disappears in scenes - the "clouding of men's minds" - rather than spending the time on the script to make it more interesting and less bloated and obtuse.
Lone, who was great in Iceman and Year of the Dragon (a hero in the first, villain in the latter) is a dull villain here, and there isn't much humor in the film (save for Jonathan Winters' performance). Penelope Ann Miller as love interest Margo Lane is pretty but doesn't have much of a character (plus they made her a telepath, which is most certainly not in the source materials). There's no spunk there, like Margot Kidder brought to Lois Lane in the Christopher Reeve Superman movies; Miller was more annoying than endearing.
Aliens had one of the best ensemble casts in genre movies; the actors fit the characters (the veteran Sgt Apone, Hicks, Hudson, "Frosty," Vasquez and Drake), unlike The Abyss where the large ensemble didn't really come together (can you name just one of the supporting characters). The Shadow's cast of supporting characters who play his various agents are more like the latter film. They may all be competent actors, but for these roles they don't do anything to really get your attention (this is one of my problems with the new V series - flat casting).
Still, The Shadow is one of those movies that you watch whenever it's on. There was potential there, but it wasn't realized to its fullest.
Perhaps Sam Raimi, an admitted fan of the character, will either direct or at least produce a more faithful, fun and adventurous version of this beloved icon.
And always remember, The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
Friday, April 9, 2010
A case of the sniffles
Feel like going through a box of tissues this morning?
Well, you came to the right place as this post from io9.com runs down 15 of the Biggest Tearjerkers in Sci Fi Movies.
I agree with most of their choices (the recent WALL-E is a no brainer), although I don't think Wash's unexpected (and unnecessary) death in Serenity invoked tears as much as anger and shock (I think Book's death in the same film was the demise that evoked more tears).
I wasn't able to catch Dr. Who growing up so I never sought out the latest revamp that began with Christopher Eccleston and then David Tennant. Yes, I know I have A LOT of catching up to do, but that clip of Rose the companion (Billie Piper) and the Doctor saying goodbye was absolutely heartbreaking. I now need to start saving to buy the entire DVD set that culminates in that incredible goodbye.
If you want a good cry straightaway this morning, watch that first.
Well, you came to the right place as this post from io9.com runs down 15 of the Biggest Tearjerkers in Sci Fi Movies.
I agree with most of their choices (the recent WALL-E is a no brainer), although I don't think Wash's unexpected (and unnecessary) death in Serenity invoked tears as much as anger and shock (I think Book's death in the same film was the demise that evoked more tears).
I wasn't able to catch Dr. Who growing up so I never sought out the latest revamp that began with Christopher Eccleston and then David Tennant. Yes, I know I have A LOT of catching up to do, but that clip of Rose the companion (Billie Piper) and the Doctor saying goodbye was absolutely heartbreaking. I now need to start saving to buy the entire DVD set that culminates in that incredible goodbye.
If you want a good cry straightaway this morning, watch that first.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
V for Vapid
I recorded this week's V and tried to watch it last night, but after a few minutes had absolutely NO interest in it whatsoever.
I thought the original V miniseries from the 1980s was a fun tale (as fun as update Nazi allegories can be), but this new version doesn't seem to offer anything new. I'm simply not interested in any of the characters. No one "pops"; the cast are all competent actors, but no one stands out. Elizabeth Mitchell is just not a commanding lead, at least not here. Her icy-ness is a problem. I think it's just bad casting (for spot-on casting look at ER (the original cast), The X-Files, NYPD Blue (before David Caruso started hiding behind sunglasses - and look at how veteran actor Dennis Franz brought Andy Sipowicz to life!), Lost, The Sopranos, The Wire and Battlestar Galactica).
In Battlestar Galactica, the humans had to worry about Cylon infiltrators and terrorists among them, since Cylons had evolved to look exactly like humans. In this new V, the Visitors have to contend with traitors among THEM, who are opposed to their leader's plans. OMG, they flipped that on us! But where BSG was totally involving, V is just a big shrug.
They should have stuck with the Nazi allegory.
ps: from what I've read recently about its ratings, V doesn't seem long for the TV world, nor does FlashForward which I've also sorta given up on. But on the good news front, Fringe is a go for season three!
I thought the original V miniseries from the 1980s was a fun tale (as fun as update Nazi allegories can be), but this new version doesn't seem to offer anything new. I'm simply not interested in any of the characters. No one "pops"; the cast are all competent actors, but no one stands out. Elizabeth Mitchell is just not a commanding lead, at least not here. Her icy-ness is a problem. I think it's just bad casting (for spot-on casting look at ER (the original cast), The X-Files, NYPD Blue (before David Caruso started hiding behind sunglasses - and look at how veteran actor Dennis Franz brought Andy Sipowicz to life!), Lost, The Sopranos, The Wire and Battlestar Galactica).
In Battlestar Galactica, the humans had to worry about Cylon infiltrators and terrorists among them, since Cylons had evolved to look exactly like humans. In this new V, the Visitors have to contend with traitors among THEM, who are opposed to their leader's plans. OMG, they flipped that on us! But where BSG was totally involving, V is just a big shrug.
They should have stuck with the Nazi allegory.
ps: from what I've read recently about its ratings, V doesn't seem long for the TV world, nor does FlashForward which I've also sorta given up on. But on the good news front, Fringe is a go for season three!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Quiz Show
Here's a fun time waster: A Star Wars sound effects quiz (courtesy of the gang at boingboing.com).
Just doing this quiz makes us want to watch Star Wars all over again, or maybe with the picture off to fully appreciate sound designer Ben Burtt's amazing work on the film.
Just doing this quiz makes us want to watch Star Wars all over again, or maybe with the picture off to fully appreciate sound designer Ben Burtt's amazing work on the film.
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